Plagiarized Lines
by Francesca Jones
Summary: Jess uses a series of plagiarized lines to say the things he can't say. Short, in-series chapters leading up to a post-finale LIT fic.
1. I WANT YOU TO WANT ME

**A/N: **So, apparently when I have law school finals, all I want to do is write literati fanfic. Such is my muse. Anyway, the format of this story is a little tricky. All the chapters will be short but the first nine or ten chapters will be SUPER short. This is really intended to be a post-finale fic, but to understand what happens post-finale, you have to understand the history I've invented. So I hope y'all will stick through me and enjoy this story!

**Chapter One- I Want You To Want Me**

"Hey." Rory said, walking through the diner door and up to Lane. Lane looked up at Rory with at least ten fries shoved in her mouth at once, causing Rory to laugh loudly at her best friend.

Lane swallowed some of the fries, letting the rest fall back onto the plate. "Sorry. Only ten minutes to bible study. I need all the grease I can get.

"That's fine. I don't think you're anywhere near your record. You could fit a good five more fries in there." Rory slipped into the chair across from Lane and slipped her backpack off her shoulders.

"Ten on a day when my mom makes tofurky." Lane said with a wince.

Rory smiled sympathetically at her friend as she dug through her bag. Finding the index card she was looking for, Rory slid it across the table to Lane. "Did you want this on vinyl? I didn't want to get it if that's not what you meant, and it was kinda vague."

Lane looked down at the index card. In the middle, in block print, were the words "I WANT YOU TO WANT ME."

"Good song." Lane said approvingly, attacking another handful of fries. With her mouth full, she continued, "I didn't write that though."

"You didn't?" Rory asked, confused. "I found it in the cover of my history book. I figured it was next on your list of vintage vinyl.

"Fair deduction." Lane conceded, "but nope. Though if you can find it on vinyl, I wouldn't say no to it."

Rory shook her head in confusion. "If you didn't write it, who did?"

"Hmm, maybe it was Dean being sweet?"

The look Rory sent to Lane caused her to say, "Fair enough. Not his style. Your mom? Could be her weird humor."

"I guess. I mean, it's not like it's the weirdest thing she's ever done." Rory conceded.

Lane nodded. "She did write that whole series of letters pretending she was a ghost stuck in the attic and hid them under the floorboards in your house."

"Yeah, too bad she didn't realize Kirk would find them while chasing a mouse for her. He cried for three days."

"Maybe she's pretending to be the ghost of good music past." Lane suggested.

Jess walked up to the table with a coffee cup and a steaming pot of coffee. "Hey."

"Hey." Rory said smiling and blushing. It was the first time she'd seen him since he denied fixing Luke's toaster. Lane waved in greeting as she ate more fries. "How's it going?"

"It's going." Jess responded, pouring her a cup of coffee. He looked down at the index card and nodded at it. "Good song. You heard the ska version?"

"No, is it good?" Rory asked, feeling her face get a little warm. She took the cup of coffee with both hands and looked down at the steam emitting from it.

Jess shrugged. "It's ok."

Lane swallowed her fries and nodded. "Yeah, it's not bad."

"You want something besides coffee?" Jess asked, indicating the conversation was boring him now.

"Onion rings?" Rory asked, finally looking back up at Jess and feeling the warmth on her face again. She had no idea why she was reacting to Jess's presence this way.

Jess nodded and walked away with a smirk on his face.


	2. TO MAKE WAR

**A/N: **I own nothing. As I said, these chapters are super short so I'll be putting them up about five at a time until the get longer

**Chapter Two -To Make War…**

"Oh, what a great way to end the Bracebridge Dinner." Lorelai said brightly as she and Rory entered the house.

Rory shook out her hair and dropped her bags on the sofa. "Definitely beats walking. Can I take the sleigh to school on Monday?"

"Sure, if you're paying the 500 bucks to keep it that long." Lorelai said, walking over to the fridge and grabbing a soda. "Want anything?"

"I'm good." Rory said, settling on the couch and opening her backpack. She pulled out her History book and an index card slipped out of the front cover into her lap. Rory picked it up and read what it said:

TO MAKE WAR ALL YOU NEED IS INTELLIGENCE. BUT TO WIN YOU NEED TALENT AND MATERIAL.

Rory tilted her head to the side in confusion. She vaguely recognized the quote as Hemingway, but wasn't sure why she had it. They'd read For Whom The Bell Tolls, the book which the quote came from, in English a few weeks ago. Had she written this quote down to help her study? It didn't look like the way she usually made note cards, but sometimes she absentmindedly started writing in block letters without noticing.

Rory looked down at the quote, slightly amused. Written on the index card by itself, with no explanation or context, it looked like a challenge—not a threat, but instead a statement of intention to start and win a war.

"I seriously wish we could do that again, but unfortunately I know what it cost this time." Lorelai said, coming in and sitting next to Rory. "What's that?"

"An old notecard." Rory said, shrugging. "I don't even remember what I was studying for. Besides a quiz on Hemingway."

"They test you too much at that smart-people school of yours." Lorelai teased.

"I'm pretty sure they test us a normal amount." Rory responded, her eyes still scanning the words. It gave her a strange feeling of déjà vu that she couldn't place.

"Why are you looking at it like that?" Lorelai demanded, picking up the remote and turning on the television.

"I don't know." Rory responded. With a shrug, she slid it back into the cover of her book and soon forgot about it.


	3. AN HONEST CON MAN

**A/N: **I own nothing. Enjoy.

**Chapter 3- An Honest Con Man  
**

"Home!" Rory called, dropping her backpack on the kitchen table. Sitting there was her small basket from the Bid-A-Basket festival the week before.

"Hey!" Lorelai said, walking into the kitchen. "Luke dropped that off. I guess Jess still had it."

"I guess." Rory said. "I didn't really think about it." She picked up her backpack and walked into her room. She unzipped it and started pulling out her books and putting them on her desk.

"Anything worth salvaging in your basket?" Lorelai called from the kitchen as she pulled the Tupperware out of it. It was empty of whatever substance had originally been in it. She opened it, sniffed, made a disgusted face, and closed it again.

"Umm, were you not there when I made it?" Rory asked, reading over her homework assignment and putting the paper on her desk.

"What's this?" Lorelai called, pulling an index card out of the basket.

"What?" Rory asked, walking back into the kitchen.

"It was stuck in your basket." Lorelai responded, handing it to Rory.

Rory read it quickly. It was in block letters, and she recognized it instantly as a quote from Salinger. It said, PHOOEY, I SAY, ON ALL WHITE-SHOE COLLEGE BOYS WHO EDIT THEIR CAMPUS LITERARY MAGAZINES. GIVE ME AN HONEST CON MAN ANY DAY.

"Huh, I dunno, I've never seen it before. It's Salinger though. Nine Stories? No…Franny and Zooey!" Rory said surely, nodding. She smiled a little and said, "Jess must've put it in there."

"What's that smile for?" Lorelai asked, trying to sound more teasing than concerned.

"Hmm? Oh, it's just funny cuz we were talking about Salinger at the bookstore that day. He was just joking around."

"Yeah, that Jess is a real laugh riot."

"You said you were giving him a change," Rory reminded her mother, sliding the card into her pocket. She grabbed the plastic cutlery from the basket and threw it in the trash. "Small basket and no actual food makes for easy clean up!"

"Especially since I'm throwing out this Tupperware to avoid infection." Lorelai said, tossing the container in the trash. Her eyes moved to the index card sticking out of Rory's pocket, but she said nothing.

"Ok, homework awaits!" Rory said brightly. She kissed her mom on the cheek and walked into her room, closing the door behind her.

Rory waited until she heard her mother exit the kitchen and picked up the phone, dialing Jess's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey." Rory said, pulling the card out and looking at it.

"Hey, what's up?" Jess asked.

"Nothing, what's up with you?" Rory responded, smiling again as she looked at the card.

"Nothing. Finish A Farewell to Arms yet?" Jess asked, and Rory swore she could hear him smirking.

"You know I haven't." Rory responded. "Almost done though. I keep falling asleep, makes it hard to finish."

"Oh, very funny. I finished The Fountainhead. You owe me."

"Yeah, yeah." Rory said. She paused a beat, and when Jess didn't speak, she said, "I got your note."

"What note?" Jess asked, sounding completely indifferent.

"The note in my basket. From the picnic. The Salinger quote."

"Really have no idea what you're talking about." Jess responded, still sounding completely unaffected by her words.

"There was an index card in my basket from the festival. It was a Salinger quote from Franny and Zooey. 'Give me an honest con man any day'?" Rory said, upset that she'd gotten it so wrong.

"Good quote." Jess said, approvingly. "Didn't put anything in that basket though. I forgot I had it, actually, until Luke found it."

"O-oh." Rory said, confused. "Then how'd it get in my basket?"

"I do not know." Jess said, and Rory could've sworn he sounded slightly amused. "Why'd you think I put it there?"

"B-because." Rory stammered. "It was in my basket. You had my basket. Who else was I supposed to think put it there?"

"I dunno. But it wasn't me."

"Ok. Sorry if I bugged you."

"Didn't bug me. I'm mildly intrigued by the mystery note."

"You and me both." Rory said, tossing the card on her desk, ignoring the disappointed feeling in her chest.

"Keep me posted if you get any more."

"Yeah. Yeah. I will." Rory said, distracted. "Bye, Jess."

"Bye, Rory."


	4. DON'T SAY YOU NEVER LIED

**A/N: **Own nothing. Enjoy and review!

**Chapter Four- Don't Say You Never Lied**

"Hey, Rory. Coffee?" Luke said, grabbing a cup as Rory sat down at the counter.

"Yes, please." Rory said with a smile. She looked around the diner, trying to be discreet. Jess was nowhere in sight; he and Shane were probably swapping spit somewhere. She hadn't seen Jess since their fight in Doose's, and that was fine with her.

"What else can I get you?" Luke asked, quickly pouring the coffee. "Where's your mom?"

"Mom's at the Inn, she'll be here soon. And I'll have a cheeseburger."

"Fries or onion rings?"

"Both please!" Rory said with a smile. Luke shook his head at Rory's response and turned to take someone else's order.

Out of the corner of her eye, Rory saw Jess come downstairs and look around. She saw him look in her direction, but he didn't linger. He grabbed the coffee pot and busied himself by refilling cups of coffee.

Rory grasped her cup closely to her chest and focused on the liquid inside. She took a few sips, looking towards the door for her mother, who still hadn't appeared.

Still gripping her cup, Rory saw a plate of food slide in front of her. She looked up to thank Luke, but saw Jess standing there instead. He didn't make any acknowledgement of her. He turned and walked away without saying a word. He pushed through the curtain and went back upstairs.

Rory sighed and pulled her plate a little closer towards her, grabbing an onion ring and shoving it in her mouth. She reached for the ketchup and noticed a paper corner sticking out from under her plate. The ketchup forgotten, Rory lifted her plate and pulled out an index card from underneath it. Written in block letters was a song lyric, AND IF YOU EVER SAID YOU MISSED ME, THEN DON'T SAY YOU NEVER LIED.

Rory tilted her head. It was a noveau punk song by that band Jess played for her last spring before everything went to Hell…Brand New, that was their name. They had one studio album and a couple of EPs that Jess was into. There was no doubt that he had written this. But then, was there really a doubt that he'd written that other one, a million years ago, that she'd found in her basket? He'd denied it convincingly, but she'd known. Part of her had known. He probably wrote those other two as well, that she had so easily dismissed as innocent cards. This one though, there was no denying that it had come from Jess. It was almost painful to read the words. It was so angry. The other notes were so playful and teasing. They were flirtatious. Now though…had she actually hurt him? The line he'd chosen would indicate that she had.

Rory blinked and realized there were tears stinging behind her eyes. She looked up and called to Luke, "Luke, I have to go! Can you put this in a box for me?"

Luke looked a little puzzled, but nodded. He came over and grabbed Rory's plate, and she smiled at him as though nothing was wrong because, really, nothing was supposed to be wrong.


	5. EXTENDED FRUITS AND HIDDEN FIRE

**Chapter Five- Extended Fruits and Hidden Fire**

"I'm gonna go get napkins. Al didn't put any in." Lorelai said, trying to hide her sigh as she stood up from the couch. What she really wanted was a moment alone to process the fact that her daughter was going to lose her virginity to a guy like Jess.

Rory pulled another container out of the bag and saw an index card stuck to the side. She had to smirk just a little. Did he just keep them in his pocket and wait for an opportune moment? At least she knew that this one would be more pleasant than the last one. This was the first he'd written since they'd gotten together. There was no pattern to when one of these would pop up; that was her favorite thing about them.

There was a little grease on the card, but it was still legible. She was always amazed by how indistinguishable his handwriting was on these notes. He'd go to his death never admitting he was the one who wrote it. This one said:

A CLIMATE OF GOLD/ SCARCELY RIPENED THE DIURNAL LENGTHS OF HER BODY/ FILLING IT WITH EXTENDED FRUITS/ AND HIDDEN FIRE.

Rory felt warmth fill her cheeks and rush all the way down to her toes. He'd graduated to poetry, which was funny because he really didn't enjoy poetry very much. He had a soft spot for Neruda though. He enjoyed the sensuality of it. He took particular joy in hearing Rory read it to him in Spanish. Neither really understood the words, though she understood more than he did, but his eyes always got so dark and intense when she'd read it aloud to him.

It was one of her favorite poems. She'd never told Jess that, but it really didn't surprise her that he'd chosen it. It was also sort of good to know his mind was exactly where hers was.

"Are there forks?" Lorelai called from the kitchen.

Rory shook her head to clear it and looked in the bag. "Yeah, we're good on flatware."

Rory folded the card in half and slid it in her back pocket. She'd awkwardly told her mom she was ready to have sex, but that didn't mean she was ready to share the erotic poetry that her boyfriend had copied and given to her.


	6. SOME STUPID FEELING

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad to know there are still people out there who want to read Rory/Jess fanfic. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one. Anyway, this next set of chapters takes us up through the series finale, so the post-finale portion will start with Chapter 11. Enjoy!

**Chapter Six- Some Stupid Feeling**

"C'mon, don't keep me waiting any longer!" Lorelai exclaimed in fake exasperation as she sat on the couch, waiting for Rory to appear.

"It's so lame!" Rory called from her bedroom. "And it's too long!"

"So I'll hem it but you have to let me see it first!"

"Seriously, why are these things always so unbelievably ugly?" Rory asked as she walked into the living room, her navy blue graduation gown over her jeans and t-shirt.

Lorelai looked her daughter up and down with a misty look in her eyes. Before she could say anything, Rory said, "Mom, no. You promised you wouldn't cry!"

"Well that was a stupid promise for me to make." Lorelai said, wiping her wet eyes. "Sorry, I'm done. Anyway, it's not _that_ long. A few inches should keep you from tripping." She stood up to examine the gown closer. "Ugh. This is so much polyester."

"Any polyester is too much polyester." Rory responded, smoothing the front of the gown. "It's kinda cool though, huh? Graduating?"

"It's very cool." Lorelai said with a smile. She squatted down and pinned the gown where she planned to hem it. Suddenly, she popped back up and said, "Let's see it with your valedictorian's stole!"

"Is that necessary for the hemming process?" Rory asked, rolling her eyes.

"Yup." Lorelai insisted. "Go get it!"

The moment Rory walked into the kitchen to get the stole, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" Lorelai called.

"Hey, doll!" Babette exclaimed as she walked in the house.

"Hey, Babette, what's up?"

"Ralph put a bunch of your mail in my box. Said yours was full. You stopped checking your mail or something?" Babette asked, handing Lorelai a stack of mail.

"Not on purpose." Lorelai responded. "Rory's just getting so much stuff from colleges that it's hard to keep up."

"Thought she settled on Yale." Babette said. "Did she change her mind? I swear, how do you keep track of what she's doing?"

"A little electronic device I make her wear on her ankle, much like a zoo animal." Lorelai said with a smile.

Babette laughed and pointed to Lorelai. "Oh Lorelai, you keep me young! I've gotta run. Tell Rory good luck tomorrow for me!"

"Will do, Babette. Thanks!" Lorelai called as Babette left.

"Ok, what do you think?" Rory asked, reentering the room wearing the gold stole over her gown. Lorelai looked up from the stack of mail and her eyes immediately began to water again.

"Mom…" Rory said as the tears started.

Lorelai shook her head to clear it and said, "No, no. Save it for game day, Gilmore. Save it for game day. It looks good, kid. Here, Babette brought some mail." She handed Rory some envelopes with her name on them.

"Harvard's still not taking no for an answer." Rory said, seeing the university's logo on a few of the envelopes. "I guess I really succeeded in making myself a desirable candidate for admission."

Lorelai laughed and kneeled at her daughter's feet, continuing to pin the gown where she needed to. Rory continued to sift through the envelopes, her hands stopping suddenly as she came to a small, plain white envelope. There was no return address but the handwriting was completely distinctive. She did not rush to tear it open to avoid alarming her mother. She calmly opened the envelope and pulled out the contents- a single index card with a quote written on it in big block letters:

I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS LOVE BECAUSE IT WAS MORE THAN LOVE. IT WASN'T JUST SOME STUPID FEELING IN MY STOMACH.

Rory almost laughed at the quote he'd chosen. Empire Records was one of his favorite movies—he made her watch it almost as many times as they'd watched Almost Famous. She liked the movie, but never got why he ranked it so high on his list.

Rory reread the quote on the card. She found it very amusing that he insisted on writing the actual quote in those indistinguishable block letters but addressed the envelope in his normal handwriting.

Was it an apology? That's what it seemed like to her; he was apologizing for hurting her. Which time though? Was it supposed to be all encompassing, or was he apologizing for the way he'd just left without telling her?

Was he telling her he loved her? Maybe, but if so then that was a secondary message. There were a million quotes he could've used to say he loved her…a million songs, movies, poems that would've been appropriate. He hadn't chosen something to say "I love you." He'd chosen a quote that said, "I messed up."

Rory sighed and put the card back in its envelope. Whatever he was trying to say, it didn't really matter. He was gone and he wasn't coming back. A quote on an index card wasn't going to change that.


	7. THE GAMBLER IS SEIZED

**A/N: **I own nothing.

**Chapter Seven- The Gambler Is Seized**

Rory sank down onto one of the cardboard boxes in her dorm room, put her head in her hands and began to cry loudly. What kind of mess was this? She was practically on a date with her married ex-boyfriend, and then the one who'd abandoned her for California had begged for her to run away with him. This sort of thing didn't happen to most people, so why did it happen to her?

Rory took deep, quivering breaths but it couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her face. She heard a rustling sound from the door and looked up just in time to see a piece of paper slide underneath the door into her room.

She stood and wiped her eyes with her sleeves as she walked over to the door. The moment she saw the index card, a surge of anger flowed through her and she flung open the door, ready to confront Jess even though she had no idea what she was going to say. She looked around the hallway, but there was no one there. Rory's anger dissipated as quickly as it had risen in her chest. She closed the door and picked up the index card. She couldn't read it in the dark and flipped on the light. It was a Clash lyric, and she found herself actually being surprised that this was the first time one of the cards had contained a Clash lyric. It said,

THE GAMBLER IS SEIZED, FORCED TO HIS KNEES, AND SHOT… DEAD.

It was appropriate, she supposed, that he'd pick that lyric. He'd taken a chance by coming to see her and she had completely shot him down. She didn't feel bad about turning him down. His demand had been ridiculous and out of the blue and so…Jess.

Rory sighed as she looked at the card. She felt a strange pang of melancholy. She hated missing Jess, and it didn't happen very often. But in this moment, having just sent him away for what would probably be the last time, she felt reminiscent. She almost wished he'd said something else besides "Come with me." She almost wished they'd gotten to talk. But they hadn't. He had been ridiculous and she had sent him away. Maybe she'd been too harsh, but hadn't he deserved that and so much more?

Rory felt tears stinging her eyes again. She took the index card and started to rip it in half, but couldn't bring herself to do so. Instead, opened one of the cardboard boxes and dropped the note inside. She was fine with putting it somewhere where she wouldn't think about it, but it didn't feel right to destroy it for some reason.


	8. WHERE WORDS ARE SCARCE

**A/N:** I own nothing

**Chapter Eight- Where Words Are Scarce**

___Rory looked at the front of the book, completely baffled by its presence in her hands. Jess had written a book, and she was holding it in her hands. It was thin, which didn't surprise her. Of course any book he wrote wouldn't be overly lengthy. Succinctness was his trademark._

___Rory opened The Subsect to the first page, and was met with an index card. She could feel herself smiling before her mind even registered what the card was doing in the book. She'd missed these cards, even though she didn't think of them very often. She'd thought she'd never see one again, not after the last one at her dorm almost two years ago. _

___Rory picked up the card and read it. It said, _

___WHERE WORDS ARE SCARCE, THEY'RE SELDOM SPENT IN VAIN_

Rory frowned. She was almost positive that the quote was from Shakespeare, but she couldn't identify the play and that upset her. If Jess had given her this card last year, she would've known. Had it really been so long since she'd exercised her mind that she couldn't identify a simple Shakespeare quote?

The words themselves were so appropriate for Jess, but then, all his cards were appropriate. He spoke so little, and it had been so long since she'd heard from him. Whenever he spoke, she was riveted because it so rarely happened. It was appropriate for his book too. She hadn't read it yet, but she knew that not one line in it would be wasted. Every word would be perfectly placed and utilized.

It would be such a refreshing change of pace from the rest of her life, where everyone was always talking but no one ever said anything important.

With that thought in her head, Rory happily put the index card aside and began to read Jess's book.


	9. WE JUST NEED TO CARE

**A/N: **I own nothing.

**Chapter Nine- We Just Need To Care**

The cab pulled up in front of the Gilmore mansion. Rory pulled some money out of her wallet and handed it to the driver, saying a quick thank you as she exited. As the cab drove away, Rory looked up at the looming house. For the first time, she thought she understood why her mother found this place so ominous and so…suffocating.

Rory sighed deeply, feeling exhausted at the mere thought of entering the house. She slowly walked up the long driveway, her arms crossed as if to protect her from the negative energy that seemed to be emanating from the building.

As she passed her Prius, a gleam of white caught Rory's eye and she did a double take. There, underneath her windshield wiper was an index card. Rory looked around quickly, hoping to find Jess lurking about but she knew that she wouldn't. She knew how this game worked by now. He would be long gone, not waiting around for her to find whatever quote he'd chosen. Rory swallowed in an attempt to dislodge the lump in her throat. For the first time, she was dreading to know what quote he'd selected to describe the situation.

Rory walked up to her car and picked up the card. As she read the words, she laughed and sobbed at the same time. He'd chosen Bukowski this time, one of his poems as opposed to something from his fiction.

WE DON'T NEED NEW MEN/ NEW WOMEN/ WE DON'T NEED NEW WAYS/ WE JUST NEED TO CARE

Rory took in a shaking breath. How did he do it? How could he manage to come back into her world and inspire her when she'd felt so empty for so long?

She read the words again. As always, they were the perfect words. He was right. That was exactly what she needed right now; she needed something to make her care. For the first time in months she felt a fire in her chest. She looked up at the Gilmore house again and shook her head sadly. Wherever she went tonight, she knew she couldn't stay here any longer. She took her keys from her bag, got in her car, and drove away.


	10. LET ME WHISPER MY LAST GOODBYES

**A/N: **I own nothing.

**Chapter Ten- Let Me Whisper My Last Goodbyes**

Rory walked into the Yale News Room and up to her desk. She tilted her head to the side and smiled at the vase of sunflowers she saw sitting there. Logan had really been upping the ante lately. She dropped her bag onto her desk and examined the flowers for a card, freezing when she saw the plain index card wedged between the flowers' stems. She hadn't heard from Jess since she went to Philadelphia, and she couldn't believe he would take the time to do this after the way things had ended.

LET ME WHISPER MY LAST GOODBYES

Rory read and reread the words several times. He'd chosen The Smiths, which seemed the only logical choice for such an emotional sentiment. He was saying goodbye. She shouldn't have been surprised, but she could feel her heart sinking a little as she reread the lyric.

Of course he was saying goodbye. After the debacle in Philadelphia, how could he say anything but goodbye? At this point, it was really the only thing that was left to say. They had hurt each other so much over the past four years. It was finally time to give up the game and move on. She was glad he realized that, because she knew it was true too. They couldn't keep beating each other up like they had. It wasn't fair to either of them.

Yet at the same time, Rory felt an inexplicable sadness flowing through her. She loved Logan. She knew that she did. But it had never really felt like goodbye with Jess. It never felt like things were done; it never felt like they were at the end of their tumultuous story. Now though, with these words in front of her, the story was clearly over and Rory couldn't help but feel strangely disappointed about that. His message was clear though. He wouldn't pursue her anymore. He'd let whatever he felt for her lay dormant like it was in a coma.

Rory looked at the flowers that had come with the quote. It wasn't until a teardrop fell on the back of her hand that she realized she'd started to cry. Rory wiped her eyes and shook her head to clear it. There was no reason to cry. Rory had made her choice, and was sure it was the correct one. She'd practically forced Jess's hand in writing that quote and sending it to her. There was nothing left to do except accept it. Maybe one day they'd be friends, but for right now it was goodbye.

Rory shoved the note in her desk drawer and moved the flowers so they weren't in her way. She grabbed an article from her inbox and began to edit it.


	11. NO GOOD THING EVER DIES

**A/N: **And finally, we get to the post-finale stuff! I hope you like this chapter because I had a lot of fun writing it! Enjoy and review!

**Chapter 11 – No Good Thing Ever Dies**

**Fall of 2007**

A small bell jingled over Rory's head as she entered Truncheon Books. It seemed smaller than the last time she'd been here. That probably had something to do with the desks that sat against the far wall and the piles of books and magazines and papers that were stacked everywhere.

"Hello?" A voice said, but Rory couldn't see who was speaking.

"Hello?" She parroted back, looking around. Suddenly, two stacks of paper parted and she saw a guy around her age sitting at a desk.

"Hi." He said with a smile. "What can I do for you?"

"Oh…I'm just looking around, if that's ok. Looking for a good book to read."

"That's what we're here for. You look familiar." The guy said, standing up. He went to move around the desk, but tripped and sent a bunch of books sailing to the floor. "Damn it!"

Rory laughed and went to help him pick the books up. "Here, let me help." She put a few books back on the desk.

"Thanks." He murmured. He stood up and extended a hand. "Matthew Weaver.""

"Rory. Gilmore." She said with a smile. "You guys need a better organization system."

"Eh, it works. You're press?" He asked, his eyes widening as he eyed the press badge clipped to the waistband of her khakis. He bit his lip and started looking around at the mess that occupied most of the flat surfaces in the room. He ran back behind the desk and started shoving papers into drawers. "It's usually not like this. We're just a little behind."

Rory laughed. "Relax, please. I'm not press. Well, I am but I'm not here in my capacity as press. I cover the Obama campaign, I was just down at City Hall."

The color returned to Matthew's face and released a whoosh of breath. "Thank God! The guys would've killed me if we got a bad write up while they were gone."

"I would have said the place had character." Rory said with a smile, trying to mask her disappointment that Jess wasn't around.

Matthew laughed. "That would have been overly generous. You cover Obama?"

"Yeah, for an online magazine." Rory said, turning her attention to a rack of paperback books.

"Cool. That's where my partners are, down at City Hall listening to him speak. Well they were. I guess it's over now."

"Yeah." Rory said, trying not to sound shocked. She'd come to see Jess and he'd been at City Hall the same time that she was. What were the odds?

"Think he'll get the nomination?" Matthew asked, sitting back down at his desk.

"It's looking that way." Rory said. "Long way to go til June though." She picked up a copy of The Subsect and smiled down at it.

"I definitely recommend that one." Matthew said. "My partner wrote it. He's good."

"I've read it." Rory responded, putting the book back down. "And I have to agree."

The bell jangled again and Rory smiled as she heard Jess's voice.

"I'm not saying that he's not a good speaker. I'm just saying I feel like he pauses at strange intervals!"

"You're insane. That man is going to be our next president." His companion responded.

"Doesn't change the way I feel about his speeches." Jess retorted good-naturedly, walking past Rory without noticing her. He picked up some envelopes from Matthew's desk and started looking through them.

Uncomfortably, Rory cleared her throat, causing Jess to look up at her. He stopped and put the envelopes back on the desk. "Hey."

"Hey." Rory said with a small, shaky smile.

"Don't be scared." Matthew said. "She's press but she's not here to do something about the store."

"Yeah?" Jess asked with a smile. "You're press?"

Rory nodded. "Yeah, I cover Obama's campaign."

"That's great. Congratulations." Jess said.

Jess's friends looked back and forth between the two and Matthew asked, "Umm, do you guys know each other?"

"Chris, Matthew, this is Rory. We've known each other since high school."

"I knew you looked familiar!" Matthew said. "You came to our first open house!"

Rory nodded, feeling awkward. "Yeah, I was there."

Jess could sense Rory's awkwardness and smirked. "You want some coffee?"

"That'd be great." Rory said gratefully. Jess motioned for her to follow him and led her upstairs.

"It's a total mess." Jess said as he led her into the apartment. He wasn't lying. The doorway opened up into a living room lined with bookshelves. There was a fold-out couch in the middle of the room, still made up as a bed. There were clothes all over the floor, old take-out containers, and a pile of DVDS that reached as high as the television.

"How many people live here?" Rory asked, assuming Jess hadn't made this whole mess by himself.

"Me and Chris. It's a one bedroom. Chris sleeps on the sofa bed. Matthew and his girlfriend live next door. Though when she gets mad and kicks Matthew out, he and Chris share the foldout. It makes for some Kodak moments." Jess responded, making his way to the kitchen.

Rory stopped to look at a rack of CDs. "You're still organizing them by genre?"

"Yeah." Jess said, grabbing a bag of coffee from a cabinet. "Gets a little complicated, but that's what makes it fun."

Rory entered the kitchen and took a seat at the scarred kitchen table. Jess started the coffee maker and sat down across from her.

"Hi." Rory offered with a small smile.

"Hey." Jess said. "What are you doing here?"

Rory shrugged and said, "I'm here for a few days with the campaign. I…hadn't heard from you for awhile."

"Did you expect to?" Jess demanded.

"No, not really. Maybe I hoped I would though."

"Yeah?" Jess asked, leaning back. "How's the jerk?"

Rory sighed. She'd know he was going to ask that.

"He asked me to marry him. I said no. That was the end of it."

"Really?" Jess asked, intrigued. "Regrets?"

"No." Rory shook her head. "Not about that."

"Oh?"

"You're going to make me say it, aren't you? Fine. Jess, I'm really sorry about what happened the last time I was here."

Jess sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Rory, it's ok. Really."

"No it isn't!" Rory exclaimed, standing up and pacing. "It was totally uncalled for. Hell, it was cruel. And you! You were so cool about it! You didn't even get mad. You were the bigger person! When did that happen?"

Jess laughed a little and stood to pour the coffee. "I got mad."

"Didn't seem like it." Rory said, sitting back down as Jess placed a coffee mug in front of her.

Jess smirked and nodded to the wall behind Rory. She turned and saw a fist-sized hole in the plaster.

"Did that about five minutes after you left."

"Oh." Rory said dumbly, looking at the hole. "I can give you money to fix it."

Jess laughed again. "We could afford to fix it if we wanted to. I like it though. Reminds me that I was…'the bigger person,' isn't that what you said?"

Rory turned back to Jess again. He seemed so calm, almost content. He'd changed so much from the person she'd known as a teenager. He'd lost the anger, but kept the good parts of the attitude—the quiet nature, the sarcasm, the mystery. It worked for him.

"So this new job…you like it?" Jess asked, taking a sip of his own coffee.

Rory looked at him, baffled at how seamlessly he could change the subject. More than that, she was baffled that he could have a friendly conversation with her after all that had happened.

"Well, I haven't seen my mom in three months. I eat take out every night, sleep in cramped hotel rooms, and tail a presidential candidate around the country, writing about his every move."

"So, you love it?" Jess asked.

"I do. Besides the not seeing my mom part." Rory admitted. "It's the closest I've come to crawling around in the trenches, and it's amazing."

"You'll get to those trenches yet. This is a good starting point. I'm really…proud of you."

"Thanks." Rory said, feeling shy all of a sudden. "I couldn't have done it without you."

Jess waved that statement off and shook his head. "Please, all I did was yell at you in an alley. You're the one that graduated from Yale, lost the blonde jerk, and got yourself a job tailing a presidential hopeful."

"Well it was the yelling at me in an alley that got me to do all those things." Rory said, trying hard to catch Jess's eyes. Finally, he conceded to look at her and Rory felt like the room suddenly filled with electricity.

"Then you're welcome." Jess said, staring intently at her, in that way that only he could do without making her completely uncomfortable.

"This is so awkward." Rory said, feeling somewhat defeated by that fact.

"Really?" Jess shrugged. "I think it's going ok."

"Yeah?" Rory asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Sure. It's good to see you."

Rory smiled, "You too."

"No, I mean it's good to see _you_, instead of that pod person who was pretending to be you. I wasn't a fan."

"Yeah, me neither."

"So, how long are you in Philly for?" Jess asked, finishing his coffee and rising to put his coffee cup in the sink.

"We're here until Thursday, then it's up to New York City."

"We're having a thing tomorrow. It's just a small book release party. Do you have anything going tomorrow night?"

"No!" Rory said, cursing at how quickly she'd answered. In a calmer tone, Rory repeated, "No, I'm free."

"You should come." Jess said. "If you want. It starts around 8."

"I want to." Rory said, smiling. She looked down at her watch and frowned. She stood up and said, "Wow, I didn't realize what time it is. I'm meeting some of the other reporters for dinner. I've got to get going."

Jess nodded and started to walk towards the door. "Cool. I'll walk you out."

Rory shook her head. "No, that's ok. I'll see you tomorrow." She looked at Jess once more with a smile and exited his apartment. She made her way downstairs and into the store.

"Hello again, Rory." Matthew said with a large smile.

"Hey." Rory smiled. "I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow?"

"Jess invited you to his soiree?" Chris asked. "Should be awesome. Free beer."

"Well then I will definitely be there." Rory said with a smile.

"Ha." Matthew said. "I have a feeling you would've been there anyway."

Rory blushed deeply and said, "I'll just, um, see you guys tomorrow."

Before they could tease her anymore, Rory quickly left the shop.

* * *

Truncheon had transformed in the 24 hours since she had been there last. The desks were gone, and so were the precarious stack of papers and books. There were more racks for books on sale and the artwork was more prominently displayed.

Rory smoothed the front of her skirt, hoping she didn't look out of place. Truncheon had the ability to make her feel completely boring and uninspired. All the women here were dressed in bright colors and had so much more flair than Rory did in her light gray skirt, black tights, and pink short-sleeved shirt.

"Rory Gilmore, I presume." Matthew said, bouncing up to her with a bright smile and two cups of beer in his hands.

"Hi, Matthew." Rory said, smiling. His energy was infectious. "How's the party going?"

"Wonderful, now that you're here. I took the liberty of getting you a beer." He handed her one of the red plastic cups that he was holding.

"Well, how kind of you. And how classy these make the party." Rory said, accepting the drink.

"Classy is not our target audience." Matthew said. "After the first open house, we realized we attract a bigger crowd with a keg."

"It's the only way they get me to show up." A female voice said. As Rory watched, a petite girl with short, spiky fuchsia hair and a nose ring wrapped an arm around Matthew's waist. She did, in fact, have a beer in her hand.

"This is my girlfriend Valerie. Val, this is Rory. Jess's friend." Matthew said.

Valerie's big eyes, which were lined with bright blue eyeliner, got even bigger at the statement and she smiled a large, crooked smile. "Ah, the infamous Rory."

"Infamous has a negative connotation." Matthew chided on Rory's behalf.

"That doesn't necessarily make it inaccurate." Rory responded, extending her hand to Valerie. "Nice to meet you."

"You too." Valerie said, her smile widening at Rory's statement. "I'm sure Jess will appreciate the support. He hates these things."

"Well I'm sure most of the focus will be on the author, so hopefully he won't need too much support." Rory responded, taking a sip of the beer.

Matthew's eyes widened over the rim of his cup and he lowered it without taking a drink.

"Rory," Matthew began, "Did Jess tell you what book we're launching today?"

"No." Rory shook her head. "He just invited me to come, he didn't really tell me anything else about it."

Valerie's grin got even wider; she was obviously enjoying this interaction a lot for some reason. She gestured to the performance space, which was surrounded by a gathering of people. "The author is doing a reading over there. You should check it out."

Rory tilted her head to the side. "Why do you guys look like cats that caught canaries?"

Matthew looked like he was about to burst out laughing. He took Rory's elbow and said, "Let's go listen to the author."

The three walked over to the crowd surrounding the author just in time to hear the applause. Rory frowned, "Too late."

"Well," Matthew said, watching as the crowd dispersed, revealing Jess sitting on a stool with a book in his hands, "I bet if you ask nicely, the author will do another one for you."

Rory's mouth fell open and she looked from Jess to Matthew and back to Jess. Jess caught her gaze and smirked, but was approached by a few girls holding copies of the book before he could come over to her.

"He didn't tell me." Rory said, awestruck. "He didn't tell me it was his book."

Valerie chuckled. "I love it when Jess is feeling spunky. Because then he does stuff like this. This might be better than when he hid Chris's manuscripts for three days."

Matthew laughed. "That was awesome. Chris almost cried." He turned to Rory and realized she was still dumbfounded and staring at Jess.

"Here." Valerie said, reaching behind Rory and selecting a book from the rack. She handed it to her and said, "It's good."

Rory took the book from Valerie. "Ambient Light by Jess Mariano." She read off the cover.

"That one's not for you." Jess said, coming up and taking the book from her and putting it back on the shelf. "I have a copy set aside for you already."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me this was your book release party!" Rory said, pushing him playfully on the shoulder. "What if I decided not to come because I thought it was just a party for some lame author I'd never heard of?!"

Jess shrugged with a smile. "I figured I'd take my chances."

Rory looked, baffled, at the racks of books bearing Jess's name. "You're a jerk, Jess Mariano."

"Yet you're here." Jess replied. Realizing that Valerie and Matthew were listening attentively to their exchange, he said, "Come on. There's some books I want to show you that I didn't write."

"I can't believe you wrote another book." Rory said as they walked away.

"It's just another short novel." Jess said modestly. "The guys insisted on having the release party."

"Well you deserve it!" Rory said. "You're so talented."

"You certainly are." A tall blonde wearing a tight white t-shirt over a black bra and tight jeans interrupted them.

"Hi, Meredith." Jess said, smiling at her. "Thanks for coming."

"Of course." The blonde said, leaning over and kissing Jess on the cheek, leaving a bright red lipstick imprint. "Congratulations. The book seems great."

Jess just shrugged at that. "We'll see. Meredith, this is Rory. Meredith lives on the floor above me."

Rory felt a pang of something resembling jealousy. "Hi." She said, politely.

"Hi." Meredith said coolly. "Jess, are you going to show me that sculpture you were telling me about?"

"Actually, I promised Rory I'd show her our local authors section. But Chris can show you. Chris!"

Chris looked up at Jess and made his way over to them.

"Meredith wants to see Jonah's sculpture, you want to show her?"

Chris grinned. "I absolutely do." Before Meredith could protest, Chris was leading her away.

Jess turned back to Rory. "Sorry about that."

Rory giggled and said, "You have a huge lipstick print on your cheek."

"Jeez." Jess said, annoyed. He began to wipe the area where Meredith had kissed him.

"You're making it worse." Rory said, shaking her head at him with a smile. She put down her beer on a nearby table and reached in her purse for a tissue. Rory cupped Jess's chin delicately in one hand, and with the other used the tissue to wipe the lipstick off his face.

"Thanks." Jess said quietly, staring at her.

Rory blushed and went to remove her hand. Jess lifted his own hand and caught Rory's fingers, keeping them in their position on his face. They stayed like that for a moment, wrapped up in an intimate moment in between two racks of books.

Rory hesitantly took a step towards Jess, not sure whether or not she was going to kiss him. That movement seemed to break Jess from his reverie and he finally released her hand.

With a sigh he said, "We've been here before."

"Actually, I think we were over there." Rory pointed to the place where their last kiss had taken place.

Jess smirked. "You know what I mean."

Rory nodded and said, "Have you ever realized how much time we spend hurting each other, Jess? I mean, have you ever really thought about how much time we've spent just emotionally pummeling each other?"

Jess ran a hand through his hair. "Of course. I was there. Well, for most of it."

"I'm serious. We spent like two-thirds of the time we've known each other just tearing each other to shreds!" Rory said, trying not to yell to avoid drawing attention to them.

"More like three-fourths, realistically." Jess said with a shrug. Rory looked at him in amazement and he said, "Might as well be accurate about it."

"Why do we do it, Jess? And why do we keep coming back?' Rory asked, wrapping her arms around herself as though the action could protect her from whatever response Jess gave.

"You know why." Jess said, taking a step towards her.

"No." Rory said, tears filling her eyes. "I really, really don't."

"Hey, look at me." Jess gently took her face in his hands and forced her to look up at him. He brushed away a tear with the pad of his thumb. "Rory, the reason we keep coming back is because that other fourth of the time we've known each other? It was really fucking good."

Rory laughed. She opened her mouth to respond, but was stopped by Jess's sudden kiss. It was gentle and sweet, and just as Rory started to respond, Jess pulled away. He leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes.

"This is crazy." He said finally, pulling away.

"A bit." Rory agreed. "But in a good way."

"This can't work. Not now. With you traipsing the country on your press pass." Jess said. Instead of looking at her, he busied himself by reorganizing the book rack behind her.

"It isn't forever." Rory replied, frowning. He was right of course, but that didn't stop her from wanting him to kiss her again.

"But it is right now." Jess responded, looking at her. "Right now, it wouldn't result in anything besides another emotional pummeling. And quite frankly, I'm over that part of our story."

"Let me whisper my last goodbyes." Rory whispered, her eyes filling again.

If Jess heard her whisper the line, he didn't respond in any way. When he didn't speak again, Rory said, "Maybe I should just go."

Jess nodded. "Yeah, maybe."

Rory sighed and her shoulders sagged as she turned to walk away. She saw Matthew and his girlfriend watching intently from across the store, but couldn't bring herself to look at them.

Rory's hand was on the door knob when she heard Jess's voice. "Rory!"

Rory turned around, not letting hope show on her features. Jess walked up to her and said, "Here…if you still want it." He handed her a copy of his book.

"I do." She said with a nod. "Thanks."

"You've got my e-mail address, right? Keep in touch."

Rory nodded dumbly, not meeting his eyes to avoid crying again. "I will. Thanks."

She walked out of the store without looking back at Jess.

It was in her hotel room later that night when Rory finally opened the front cover of Jess's new book and an index card fluttered out. Her heart stopped as she picked it up with shaky hands. Tears of happiness began to run down her face as she read,

HOPE IS A GOOD THING, MAYBE THE BEST OF THINGS, AND NO GOOD THING EVER DIES.

It was, as always, the perfect line. It was practically a retraction of the last one he'd written. She'd totally misjudged the situation as it stood between them. He wasn't kicking her out of his life again. He was welcoming her back into it with hope. That was a start.

* * *

**A/N: **To preempt any questions: No, it is not over yet! I thought about ending it here, but I'm enjoying writing it too much!


	12. YOUR DREAMS WERE YOUR TICKET OUT

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing

**A/N:** Thank you all for reading! Sorry this update has taken so long. My boss is actually giving me work again and classes started yesterday, so fiction has taken a backseat sadly. Anyway, enjoy!

**Chapter 12- Your Dreams Were Your Ticket Out**

_Jess,_

_I just finished your book! I know it's been like a month and I feel terrible, but it's the nature of living out of a suitcase. It ended up wrapped up in a sweater I haven't worn in a while and I couldn't find it. It was SO good! I would draw out 'so' with multiple O's but the journalist in me would weep. Your writing is so original. The unnamed girl was done so brilliantly. I loved how no one talked about her and that she was only introduced in flashbacks. It's a really accurate portrayal of the impact people have on our lives. I'm so amazed by what you can do with the written word. _

_How are things at Truncheon? Tell Chris and Matt hello for me. Sorry I haven't been in touch sooner. It's a really hectic life that I'm living right now. I'm not complaining; I love it. Living out of suitcase is havoc on my wardrobe, but I love the hustle, the anticipation, the almost-frenzy of it all. Also, I've been trying to sort out our last meeting, honestly, which is never an easy task with us. I've finally given up on dissecting it, and would really rather just be talking to you. _

_So, I don't know how often you talk to Luke, but did you hear that he and my mom are going to have a baby?! Can you believe it? They weren't even technically dating, though I guess they are now. They're discussing marriage, but we've seen how that goes for them. I just can't believe I'm going to be a sister. And you're going to be a cousin. Weird. _

_Ok, Obama's giving a speech on health care that's going to start soon. Drop a line when you get a chance. Take care!_

_Rory_

_R,_

_Glad you liked the book, glad you appreciated the flashback thing. I was afraid people wouldn't get it. Chris and Matt say hello. Matt wants you to visit again, apparently you made quite an impression on him. He asked for your email address, but you don't want him harassing you every five minutes. We don't even give him access to Truncheon's mailing list anymore. It got ugly. _

_Liz told me about the baby when she called last week. I get biweekly phone calls consisting of ridiculously in-depth descriptions of everything that Doula does, sprinkled with "you should visit more." The way she tells it, they're already engaged. It wouldn't surprise me if it was an exaggeration though. I guess we're just destined to be related through marriage, huh? _

_Let me know how the job's going. What city are you in now? _

_J _

_Jess,_

_We're in Kansas City right now, and we'll be in Arkansas tomorrow. I doubt he's going to sway the vote there away from Hillary, but the guy is ambitious if nothing else. I really love this lifestyle though. I am making some great contacts that I'm really excited about. One of the reporters that I met back east even implied he might have a position for me if I was interested! I want to see this through at least to the primaries. If he gets the nomination, I think I'll look for another job. Again, I'm not so crazy about my wrinkly shirts, and I miss my mom something fierce. I haven't seen her in almost six months. That is an eternity in Gilmore time. Obama is spending Christmas out of the public eye, so we're all going to have a couple weeks free then. We finish up in Detroit on the 23__nd__ and don't pick back up until January 5__th__. I plan to spend most, if not all, of my vacation in Stars Hollow. What are your plans for Christmas? I have images of you, Matt, and Chris huddled around a Charlie Brown-esque Christmas tree. Even if inaccurate, it's still pretty funny. _

_I read Ambient Light again. I find something new to love about it every time I pick it up. The main character's path to redemption is so well-crafted (and perhaps a little familiar to those of us who know you). The scene where he cuts himself on the broken bottle really pulled at me. I loved how it wasn't a metaphor and you didn't even try to make it seem like a significant moment, yet it was still a perfect turning point. Seeing the shard of brown glass sticking out of his hand and deciding in that moment that he was going to be better. It was beautiful. _

_Take care,_

_Rory_

_R,_

_It sounds like you're doing great and it's really good to hear. I found the website and have been following your pieces. They're great. You've really found your voice. I'm glad you're making good contacts, I'd hate to see you homeless and jobless once the Democratic Convention rolls around. Though I guess you'll never be homeless as long as Stars Hollow is still standing. Though if my Christmas wish comes true, the entire town will "fall into a sinkhole" Sunnydale style. Hopefully it'll happen after December 27__th__ though, because I got roped into Christmas with Liz and T.J. I'm heading up next Wednesday. Chris is going to Aspen with his disgustingly rich family, Matt and Val are spending Christmas with her family in Florida. I guess I'll see you when you get into town on Christmas Eve._

_Oh, the bottle thing really happened, except the bottle was green. Poetic license and all._

_J _

_Jess,_

_It's so funny that you said that about Stars Hollow (about me never being homeless, not your well-placed Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference). I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I haven't been home since June. It's the longest I've ever been away, and I'm so nervous about going back. I'm almost afraid to go back. I'm scared it won't be home anymore. Is that ridiculous? I just keep thinking about that time when my mom and I weren't speaking, and how absolutely nauseous it made me to realize I didn't have a…haven; I didn't have a place to call home. It was the worst feeling I've ever had. While I'm out here on the road, Stars Hollow is still home. My room at my mom's house is still my room. Every crazy antic by every insane person is endearing because it's still my home. I just have a terrible feeling that all those warm feelings are going to dissipate once I'm back. I don't want to be an outsider in my hometown. Does any of that make sense? Am I being ridiculous? I really just wish I could get this sinking feeling out of my stomach. I'd really like to know what you think._

_Take care,_

_Rory_

Rory reread the e-mails that she and Jess had been exchanging over the last few weeks. She frowned at her last e-mail to him. She had definitely come off as needy and irrational. It was no surprise that he'd never answered her, even though she sent the e-mail over a week earlier. She'd begged him to tell her what she was feeling was normal and that everything would be ok, when he had likely never felt at home anywhere. At least, he'd never had a home like Stars Hollow had been a home to her. Rory shook her head and closed her laptop. She always tried to push her relationship with Jess farther than it was meant to go. She shouldn't have expected him to be a support system for her whining. She just hoped she hadn't burned the bridge they'd just started to mend.

Rory put her laptop in her briefcase and looked up at the board of departures. The next bus for Stars Hollow was almost ready to depart. One way or another, she was about to resolve her fears about feeling at home and her fears about her relationship with Jess.

* * *

"Mom!" Rory called, entering the front door and dropping her bags on the floor.

"Offspring?" Lorelai called from the kitchen, and Rory heard a chair scrape against the floor and her mother rushed to meet her. The two met in a tight hug and spun around giddily.

"I missed you so much!" Rory said, surprised by the tears filling her eyes.

"Ditto, kid, ditto!" Lorelai said, choking up herself.

They finally separated a little and Lorelai assessed her daughter. "You look weathered and hardened by the world."

"Oh, I am." Rory agreed with a serious nod. "Very hardened. Today I stabbed a man for change to buy coffee."

"That sounds exactly like the girl I raised." Lorelai said, kissing Rory's forehead.

Rory exhaled. She'd been home for three minutes and already felt the fear leaking out of her like a three-day-old helium balloon. This was still home.

Rory leaned over and patted her mother's stomach. "Hello, little bastard."

"Hey!" Lorelai protested. "You're a bastard too."

"I know. We're going to have lots in common. I can't believe that you were so lonely without me that you got knocked up!"

Lorelai smiled and touched her stomach. "Luke moved back in."

"What?" Rory exclaimed with a smile, leading the way to the sofa. "That's great! I thought you were just seeing how things went."

"We were. That's where they went. I know what you're thinking. It's happening this fast because of Bun."

"Bun?"

"What we've taken to calling the bastard child I'm carrying." Lorelai retorted. "I was worried about that at first too. It's happening this fast because it's me and Luke. This is just how we are."

"Mom, I'm happy for you. It's always been Luke. I know that. I'm glad you got things sorted out, even if it took Bun to do it."

"It's a good name, right? It caught on really fast." Lorelai said. "Miss Patty loves it. Babette is calling him-slash-her 'Bunny,' which I think is going to cause great gender confusion if it's a boy."

Rory laughed and took a moment to study her mother. She looked so happy and Rory felt just as comfortable with her as she always had. Sitting on this sofa felt like home, and Rory was starting to realize it always would.

"So, are you ready for the Stars Hollow gossip?" Lorelai asked. Without waiting for a response, she said, "Guess who's back in town? I'll give you a hint. Leather jacket, lots of crazy hair, looks like the bastard offspring of Sylvester Stallone."

Rory laughed. "Mom, the first two don't even describe Jess anymore. Besides, I already knew."

"You did? Did you see him in town?" Lorelai asked.

"No. I told you I saw him in like October. We've e-mailed a bit since then. He told me he'd be here for Christmas."

"Wow. I didn't realize you were that friendly." Lorelai said. She didn't sound upset about it, but she definitely looked confused.

"Yeah. Well after that mess while I was still with Logan, I didn't expect to be."

"Ugh, I like to pretend that never happened. Thinking about you even considering using Jess for sex skeeves me out." Lorelai shuddered.

"Well, how do you feel about the fact that Jess and I kissed last time I saw him?" Rory asked.

Lorelai's eyes widened. "I feel confused. And curious about whether or not that's incest considering that you now share a relative. But mostly confused. I thought kissing him when you were with Logan convinced you that Jess wasn't right for you."

"It's more that he wasn't right at the time. I was still so confused at the time, and I did love Logan. But Jess and I never really finished what we started. I don't know. We both agreed that it can't be anything right now, with me travelling the way I am and stuff. But that just means that it's still unfinished."

Lorelai let out a rush of air and said, "My head is spinning."

"Now you know how I feel _all_ the time." Rory said with a smile.

"Well I think we both know the solution. Coffee?"

"Absolutely. Luke's?" Rory asked.

Lorelai nodded and stood. "Let's go."

* * *

"So then the reporter from the Intelligencer just decked the guy from the Star-Tribune. Obama had to stop the press conference while his Secret Service pulled them apart." Rory finished her story as the pair walked into Luke's. It was empty, most likely because it was Christmas Eve. Luke stood behind the counter and he smiled as he saw them.

"Hey." Luke said, walking around the counter. He kissed Lorelai before wrapping Rory in an awkward hug. "Welcome home."

"Thanks." Rory said. She loved Luke's awkward hugs, and loved that they were just one more sign that this was still home. "Good to be home. Congrats on being mom's baby daddy."

"Jeez." Luke said. "Want some coffee?"

"Yes!" The two said in unison.

Luke looked at Lorelai and said, "You know my rule. My kid is not becoming a caffeine addict in the womb. You get decaf."

Lorelai made a hissing noise in Luke's direction as the two sat down at a table.

"Wow, it's just like your dream." Rory teased, referring to the dream Lorelai had years ago where Luke had switched her coffee with decaf.

"Yes, but sadly this is my reality." Lorelai responded, still pouting.

Luke brought over two mugs and placed one in front of Rory. The one he put in front of Lorelai had a large 'D' painted on it.

"Look how he's branded me! I feel like Hester Prynne." Lorelai said, accepting the mug with a frown.

Luke looked at Rory and said, "If I see her take _one_ sip from your cup, it's decaf for the both of you. For life."

Rory pulled her mug close to her as if she were protecting it and gave Luke a solemn nod.

"You two still coming for dinner tomorrow?" Luke asked. Rory looked at her mother inquisitively.

Lorelai turned to Rory and said, "I was so excited to see you that I forgot to tell you. Liz invited us all for Christmas at their house."

"Oh." Rory said with a smile, knowing Jess would be there. "Of course. That'll be great."

"I'm sure it will." Lorelai said, rolling her eyes at Rory's smile. "What time, Luke?"

"Liz has changed it a few times, so I'm not sure. Jess will know though." He walked over to the door to the stairway, pushed the curtain aside and yelled, "Jess!"

"Jess is here?" Rory asked, sitting up straight. "Right now?"

"Yeah." Luke said. "He's upstairs writing."

"What's up, Luke?" Jess asked as he walked through the curtain, holding a notebook in one hand. He saw Rory sitting at the table with her mother and smirked. "Hey."

"H-hey." Rory stammered, blushing for no real reason.

"What time's dinner at your mom's house tomorrow?" Luke asked, observing the silent scene unfolding before him. Even he could recognize the sparks flying across the diner.

"She finally settled on five." Jess responded, eyes still obviously on Rory.

"Five it is." Lorelai said.

Rory debating standing but instead asked from her chair, "Why are you writing upstairs?"

"It's a warzone at Liz's house. Between her getting ready for tomorrow, Doula spitting up every five minutes, and T.J.'s mere existence, I just needed some quiet." He paused a beat as he walked closer to her and said, "So you're here."

Rory nodded, "Yep."

"How's it feel?"

Rory smiled. She hadn't frightened him away with her rambling. "Feels like home."

Jess nodded and smirked again. "Glad to hear it. I'm gonna go back to Liz's, but I guess I'll see you guys for dinner tomorrow?"

"We'll be there." Lorelai said, still watching the situation unfold before her like she was watching animals in the zoo.

For the first time, Jess looked over at Lorelai. "Congrats on the baby."

Lorelai's mouth fell into a large 'o' at Jess's sincere sentiment. "Thank you." She whispered, shocked.

As soon as Jess left the diner, Lorelai said, "OK, I know everyone said he's changed but…he said something nice to me! Did you see it? Did it really happen? Is this what those scientists felt like when the gorillas finally learned sign language?"

Rory just laughed and took a sip of coffee. Lorelai reached for the mug, but Rory quickly slapped her hand away. Lorelai pulled back with a shocked look on her face.

"Hey, hardened by the world, remember?" Rory said, smiling slightly over her coffee cup.

"Yeah, that sappy school girl look on your face really screams savvy world-traveler." Lorelai retorted.

"Mean!" Rory pouted, but she still couldn't wipe the look off her face.

"What just happened?" Luke asked finally. "Are you two…what just happened?"

"That's my guy." Lorelai said proudly. "Always about 15 minutes behind. Rory and Jess are together again."

"Mom! We are not! Don't listen to her, Luke."

"All I know is that is one gorilla who is definitely capable of learning 'I Love You' in sign language." She took a sip of her decaf coffee, winced, and said, "And that Bun better hurry up out of his oven because this is not going to fly for 7 more months."

* * *

"Alright, I am officially talked out." Rory said, yawning and stretching.

"That is blasphemy!" Lorelai said, yawning herself. "But I do need my beauty sleep."

Rory stood from the sofa and kissed her mom on the head. "Night Mom. Night Bun."

"Night, kid." Lorelai responded. "Good to have you home."

"Good to be home." Rory responded.

Rory walked into her room and felt an instant chill. The window was open a crack, though she could've sworn it had been closed when she and her mother had left for Luke's. Rory walked over to the window and closed it tightly. She turned around and her eyes lit up when she saw an index card propped up on her pillow. She knew it should bother her that Jess had broken into her bedroom, but she couldn't keep her heart from racing and the joy from leaping up into her throat as she dived onto the bed to read the card. As soon as she read it, she immediately started laughing.

WELCOME BACK. YOUR DREAMS WERE YOUR TICKET OUT.

This was the first line he'd used designed purely to make her laugh, and he had succeeded. It was also nice that they were at a place where not every card was so serious. There was finally levity in their relationship again, which was something she'd deeply missed about their early days. They'd had so much fun together, and it was beginning to look like that might happen again.

Rory put the card on her nightstand, slipped under the covers, and went to sleep with a smile on her face.


	13. ONCE YOU KNEW A GIRL

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing

**A/N: **I love the positive response I'm getting for this story! I had no idea that there were still so many lit fans going strong! Thank you so much for all the wonderful feedback. Enjoy this chapter!

**Chapter 13- Once You Knew A Girl  
**

"Big Brother! Gilmores!" Liz exclaimed as Luke, Lorelai, and Rory entered the house. She was wearing an apron and smiling brightly as she came over to hug everybody.

"Merry Christmas, Liz!" Lorelai said, handing Liz a bouquet of flowers.

"Aww, they're gorgeous, thanks!" She said. She looked pleadingly at Luke and said, "Luke, can you help me in the kitchen? I'm really nervous the turkey's going to explode."

"You didn't take it out of the oven yet?" Luke asked, heading quickly towards the kitchen. "Geez."

"Is that beer?" T.J. asked, pushing past Liz and looking at the six-pack in Rory's hand.

"For you, T.J" Lorelai said. "Merry Christmas."

"Alright, the good stuff." T.J. said approvingly as he took the pack from Rory. "Luke, you've got some good women here!"

"Only the pregnant one is his." Lorelai retorted with a smirk, shrugging off her coat.

Liz took the girls' coats and said, "Rory, have you met Doula yet? You should go see her."

"Ok." Rory said. "We actually brought her a few Dr. Seuss books."

"That'll be better than the garbage Jess's been reading her." T.J. responded, plopping down on the couch and opening a beer.

"That garbage is Salinger, and I'm editing out the swearing." Jess responded, entering the room with his little sister riding on his back and clinging to his neck.

"Holden!" The little girl squealed with a bright smile. "Goddamn!"

"Jess!" Liz exclaimed.

"OK, not all the swearing." Jess conceded. He pried Doula off his back and sat her up straight on the couch next to T.J. "Hang out with your dad, D."

"Ok! Goddamn!" Doula said, snuggling against her father. T.J. wrapped an arm around his daughter, put down his beer, and reached over to grab his Etch-A-Sketch, which Doula took from him excitedly.

"Someone at daycare is going to call social services on us." Liz said, shaking her head with a smile. "At least my kids are together."

"Geez." Jess muttered, taking the Gilmores' coats from his mother. "Go help Luke. I'll put these somewhere."

"You can put them in Doula's room." Liz responded. She turned to Rory and Lorelai and said, "Make yourselves at home!"

Jess made a motion with his head, indicating Rory should follow him. "You can put those books in D's room."

Rory made a move to follow Jess and her mother grabbed her arm. "If you have sex in that little girl's room, you officially surpass me as the family tramp." She whispered.

"Mom!" Rory whispered, eyes wide. "It's not like that!"

"Yeah, sure. It's never like that when you're 23." Lorelai rolled her eyes and pushed Rory towards Jess. "Heed my words."

Rory quickly followed in the direction Jess had walked. She walked into Doula's room as Jess tossed the coats down on a rocking chair. Rory smirked at the music quietly playing from a child's bright pink CD player.

"So not only are you reading a 1-year-old Salinger, but you've also got her listening to Pavement?"

Jess sunk down onto the futon sitting across from Doula's crib and said, "She's almost two. D. actually prefers Brighten the Corners to Slanted and Enchanted, can you believe that?"

Rory placed the books on Doula's little table and turned to face Jess.

"Why are you blushing like that?" He demanded with a smirk.

Rory brought her hands up to her face and felt that it was indeed warm. "My mom." She said, trying to wave it off. "She just…was teasing me."

"What are you still holding?" Jess asked, nodding to the small package in Rory's hands.

"Oh!" Rory exclaimed, grateful for the change in topic. She sat down next to Jess and handed it to him. "It's for you."

"You didn't have to." Jess said, deftly opening the package and revealing a pack of Moleskine notebooks.

"I thought using the same notebooks as Hemingway might be inspiring." Rory said quietly. "To you, anyway."

Jess laughed lightly. "These are great, thanks. I like always having a notebook on me."

"I figured. You are a writer." Rory said, shifting uncomfortably.

"I have something for you too." Jess said, reaching over to the side of the sofa and retrieving an unwrapped book with a stick-on red bow on top.

Rory took the book from Jess and laughed loudly when she saw it was her copy of The Holy Barbarians. "Just what I always wanted for Christmas. My own book returned."

"That's how I knew you'd like it." Jess responded.

Trying not to appear eager, Rory checked inside the covers of the book, disappointed when there was no card.

"Looking for something?" Jess asked with a smirk.

"No." Rory responded in what she hoped was a casual manner. "Just checking to see if you wrote notes in it. So you're sleeping in here?"

"Yeah. D. sleeps through the night so it isn't a big deal. Though she does wake up at 5:30 in the morning, which is obnoxious."

Rory laughed a little and turned her body to look at Jess. "You're kinda cute in this whole big brother role."

"Yeah?" Jess asked, leaning towards her just a little. "I'm sure you'll be good in the big sister role too."

"I can guarantee that child will have a pop culture knowledge rivaling any game show contestant." Rory said with a smile.

"Exactly what every parent dreams their child will aspire to."

There was a pause in the conversation, and Rory looked at Jess while biting her lower lip lightly. She knew that they should just keep talking, or go back to their families, but she wanted him to kiss her. As if reading her mind, Jess reached out and pushed her hair out of her face.

"Jess…" Rory started, closing her eyes at the contact.

"I know." He responded, and she could feel his warm breath on her cheek. "I don't know what the Hell we're doing either."

Rory leaned forward and rested her forehead against his. She opened her eyes and smiled when she saw that his were closed. Seeing him look so vulnerable removed whatever restraint she was feeling. She put her hands on his face and kissed him gently. Jess responded instantly, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer to him. The kiss deepened quickly. Rory leaned back and Jess flattened himself against her. Almost automatically, Rory wrapped a leg around Jess's waist and pulled him closer. It wasn't until Jess slid a hand under Rory's sweater that she broke away from him.

"I don't want to be the family tramp!" Rory exclaimed, panting.

"What?" Jess asked, taking a deep breath. He was still laying on top of her, propping himself up with one arm on each side of her head.

Rory shook her head and said, "I just…we can't have sex in your little sister's room. And that's definitely where this was heading."

"Yeah?" Jess smirked.

"Yes." Rory laughed and pushed against Jess's chest to make him move. They both sat up and Rory straightened out her sweater. "Jess, what are we doing?"

"Still don't know." Jess said, running a hand through his hair. "Not hating it though."

Rory laughed and said, "Yeah, that part is definitely…still really good. But Jess…"

"I know. We need to talk about it." Jess sighed. "After dinner?"

Rory nodded. "Yeah, that works."

There was a loud bang and curse from the kitchen, and then the two heard Luke yell, "Geez, Liz, who told you to turn the oven to high? Everyone get your coats, we're going to the diner for dinner!"

"I told you it was a warzone." Jess said, standing. "Let's go."

* * *

"I think it's starting to snow." Rory said, looking up at the sky as she and Jess walked through the town square.

"Yep." Jess agreed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat.

The two walked in silence for a few minutes while the snow began to fall harder. Rory stopped, closed her eyes and lifted her head to the sky, enjoying the feeling of the snow falling. When she opened her eyes, Jess was looking at her with a small smile.

"You've got snow in your eyelashes." He said, his voice low in his throat.

Rory laughed and said, "I love this weather. Yet another thing I inherited from mom. It makes everything seem magical."

Jess took a step forward and took his hands out of his pockets. He laced his fingers with Rory's and looked down at their intertwined hands.

Rory smiled but pulled her hands away. "Jess…what is this?"

"I still don't know." Jess said, exasperated. "Nothing's changed since last time I saw you. This still can't work."

"So what does that mean? After all this, are you saying we should just be _friends_?" Rory made a disgusted face as she emphasized the word 'friends.'

"Well what's the other option right now? Being friends or being nothing? Is that what you want?"

"No, of course not." Rory conceded. "But I think there's a third option. I think you can admit that there's something else here."

"What good would that do?" Jess asked, turning his head so he wasn't looking at Rory.

Rory looked at him and realization dawned upon her. "Is this what I did to you?"

"What are you talking about?" Jess asked, his voice instantly turning annoyed as he snapped his head back to look at her.

"I can't believe I didn't think of it before." Rory nodded to herself. "This is all because of me."

"What the Hell are you talking about, Rory?" Jess demanded.

"This. Jess, did I hurt you so bad that you can't even admit that there's something complicated between us? Are you that scared for this to be something we can't put a title on? We have to be friends or boyfriend-girlfriend or nothing at all?"

"What's wrong with wanting things to be uncomplicated for once?" Jess demanded through clenched teeth.

"There's nothing wrong with it, but we aren't 17 anymore! Things don't always fall into neat categories."

"Look, you're the one who pointed out that we've spent most of the time we've known each other just completely battering each other. I thought if anyone would want things to be easy and logical, it'd be you!"

"Jess," Rory started with a humorless laugh, "We almost had sex in your sister's bedroom…on Christmas! You can't just pretend we're just friends."

Jess was silent and Rory continued, "Well maybe you can, but I can't! As long as 'friend' is the only way you're willing to refer to me, then…I'm sorry. I'm not going to pretend that's all this is."

Jess looked down at the ground and Rory sighed. She tightened her scarf around her neck and said, "Goodbye, Jess."

Rory turned and walked away and Jess just stood there, next to the gazebo, as the snow continued to fall.

* * *

The day before New Year's Eve, There was a knock on Rory's door. She looked up from her desk and said, "Come in."

Luke popped his head in the door and said, "Hey, Rory. How's it going?"

"Hey, Luke." Rory said, offering a small smile. "How's mom feeling?"

"Good." Luke said. "She's lying down. I gave her some ginger root tea. It settled her stomach pretty well."

"Glad to hear it. I'm also glad she has you to take care of her while I'm gone."

Luke just smiled awkwardly and stepped into the room. Rory saw he was holding her book in his hand. "Liz gave this to me. I guess Jess told her you left it there."

"Oh, I forgot all about it." Rory said, looking at the book with disinterest and taking it from Luke's outstretched hand. "Thanks, Luke."

"You're welcome. Uh, you know, Jess left."

Rory nodded, "Two days ago. Yeah, I know."

"You didn't say goodbye?"

"Oh, I did." Rory said, somewhere between sad and angry.

"Oh. Ok." Luke said awkwardly. "I'll see you later."

He closed the door and Rory looked down at the book. Rory shook her head and threw it on her bed, where it landed with a soft thud. As Rory watched, an index card slipped out of the front cover and her eyes widened. She stood slowly and walked over to the bed. She picked up the card and read:

ONCE YOU KNEW A GIRL AND YOU NAMED HER LOVER

Rory smiled and felt tears welling in her eyes. He was always surprising her. She had thought he'd given up, but here it was in black and white. He was ready to discuss a label other than 'friends.'

"Mom! Luke!" Rory yelled. "I'm going to Philadelphia!"


	14. YOU ARE NOT ALONE

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**A/N: **Sorry this took so long! It was a lot of fun to write though and a lot happens, so I hope that makes up for the wait! I just want to give a big thank you for all the kind response to this story. You guys are awesome!

This chapter is dedicated to every girl who has gotten drunk and said something stupid to a guy she liked. You know you're out there.

* * *

**Chapter 14 YOU ARE NOT ALONE**

"Hey, Rory." Chris said, looking up from his desk as Rory walked into Truncheon. He stood and gave her a friendly hug. He smiled at her and said, "Jess said you might be stopping by."

"Did he?" Rory accepted the hug and returned the smile, entertained at how quickly Jess's friends had accepted her as a fixture.

"Yeah, he said you had a little time off from the political grind. We've all been following your stuff. If you ever want to move to fiction or poetry, you have a spot here."

"That's so nice." Rory said appreciatively, "but that's Jess's area of expertise. I'm a journalist through and through."

"Chris, I just got off the phone with Rodney. He said if we don't like his manuscript the way it is then we can go- Rory!" Matt exclaimed, coming down the stairs and looking up from his notebook just before he finished his sentence. He dropped the notebook and ran across the small space, tackling her with a hug.

"Hi, Matt!" Rory said, laughing and hugging him. "It's good to see you!"

"I'm so glad you're here! Jess wouldn't give me your e-mail address. I begged and begged."

Rory laughed and pulled herself out of Matt's tight hug. "I promise to give it to you before I leave."

Matt smiled brightly and walked over to pick up his notebook. "I'll have to call Val and let her know you're here. She'll be so excited!"

"Why does everyone here get so excited when I show up?" Rory asked, pleased but confused.

"Are you serious?" Chris asked, looking at Rory, to Matt, and then back to Rory.

"Yeah…" Rory said slowly. She didn't think it was such a ridiculous question.

"Rory, do you know how many people in Jess's pre-Philadelphia life we've met?" Matt asked seriously.

"No."

"Besides you? His uncle. That's it." Chris responded. "Do you know why?"

"No…" Rory said again.

"Because, according to him, 'the only people you're gonna meet are the ones who matter.'" Matt said.

"We love Jess." Chris continued, and Rory was highly amused at the way they were tag-teaming this explanation. "He's like our brother."

"Our very secretive, sometimes surly, always sarcastic brother." Matt interjected.

"Anyone important to him is important to us." Chris finished.

"Wow." Rory said quietly. "I guess I didn't realize."

"Realize what? How close we all are or how highly he regards you?" Chris demanded.

"Both, I guess." Rory shrugged. "Thanks for sharing that with me."

"We have officially gotten way too serious." Matt said. "Ooh! Wanna play Scrabble?"

Rory had to laugh at Matt's energy. "I'd love to, but I should really go say hi to Jess. I didn't even tell him I was coming. Is he upstairs?"

Chris shook his head. "He's at a lunch meeting."

"Which means you're free for Scrabble!" Matt exclaimed. "I'll go get the board!"

Chris smiled at Rory and said, "We like you, Rory. But we will make your life Hell if you hurt him again."

Rory should've been taken aback, but she'd been expecting a similar threat since she first met Matt and Chris. She just nodded and said, "Trust me, Chris. It'll be nothing compared to what I'd do to myself."

"Well as long as that's clear, we can enjoy a friendly game of Scrabble."

Rory laughed as Matt bounced back in the room with game.

* * *

"This is the highest scoring game of Scrabble I've ever played." Matt said, pouting.

"Rory's a journalist and I was a Lit major in college. What did you expect, Matt?" Chris asked, laughing. The three were sitting on the floor of Truncheon with the game between them.

"I didn't expect to be losing by this much!" Matt said, crossing his arms across his chest childishly.

The bell above t the door rang and the three looked up as Jess walked in. He looked at the scene before him and said, "Oh yeah, this is professional."

"You're just mad you weren't here to play!" Matt responded.

Jess smirked and walked over to the three. "It's better than when I walked in and you were playing Twister."

He looked directly down at Rory and said, "Hi."

"Hi." Rory responded, looking shyly up at him. She began to stand up and Jess extended his hand to help her.

"Looks like I'm forfeiting, guys." Rory said.

"We should probably get some work done anyway." Chris said, lifting up the board so all the letters fell in the middle.

"I was about to make my comeback!" Matt protested.

"Accept defeat, man." Chris said, shaking his head.

Jess looked down to where he was still holding Rory's hand. He released it and asked, "Wanna go upstairs?"

"Yeah." Rory said. She turned back to Matt and Chris. "I'll see you guys later."

"They're really great guys." Rory said as they ascended the stairs.

"I don't disagree. Well, not usually." Jess responded as he inserted his key into the lock and opened the apartment door.

"They love you a lot. I got the threat." Rory said, stepping into the apartment.

"The 'threat'?" Jess repeated, tossing his keys on the end table, throwing his messenger bag on the couch and taking off his coat.

Rory nodded. "The threat of massive bodily harm if I hurt you."

"Ah. Well I'm sure you can take them if it comes down to it." Jess said with a smirk. He threw his coat on top of his bag and walked to the kitchen, where he proceeded to make a pot of coffee.

"I figured you'd call first." He said, scooping coffee into a filter.

"Yeah, it was kind of a spontaneous thing." Rory responded, eyes focused on the CD collection in the living room. "I didn't even really think about calling first."

"Spontaneity is good." Jess responded, returning to the living room. He looked at Rory, waiting for her to face him. When she didn't, he grabbed her shoulders and turned her to him.

"Look, apologies aren't my thing and I don't always know what to say. Well, I usually know what to say but not how to say it. I'm never going to be as good verbally as I am with the written word."

Rory stared at him wide-eyed. This was the closest he'd ever come to explaining the cards, or even acknowledging their existence.

"What I'm trying to say is, I was wrong on Christmas. This isn't just friendship, and it certainly isn't nothing. Whatever it is…well, I guess we'll find out."

"I think this is the most I've ever heard you say about something serious at one time." Rory responded in a whisper.

Jess smirked and shrugged. He leaned in and gave Rory a short, sweet kiss on the lips. He rested his hands on her hips and asked, "How long are you staying?"

Rory blushed and said, "I've got all my stuff. I can stay until I have to go back to work. Or shorter if you get sick of me."

"Well I think Chris and Matt will be pretty furious if I kick you out before tomorrow. Big New Year's Eve party."

"Oh. And I'm invited?"

"Yep. So long as it's me you're kissing at midnight. I think Matt's got a crush on you."

"I think Matt's five-foot tall girlfriend could kick my ass." Rory responded.

Jess laughed and said, "I'm pretty sure Val can kick my ass too. So I guess you're stuck with me."

Rory wrapped her arms around him and said, "I guess so."

"Dude" Chris called, falling into the apartment and breathing heavily. "Rodney's on the phone. He's gonna pull his manuscript. He's screaming at Matt right now."

"Jeez." Jess said, releasing Rory. "That jerk is the best writer we've got. I've gotta take care of this."

Jess pushed past Chris and left the apartment. Chris took a moment to catch his breath and straightened up. He smiled brightly at Rory and said, "Twister?"

Rory laughed and said, "I think Jess would kill us. Or at least you."

Chris frowned. "Yeah, probably." After a beat he asked, "Scattergories?"

Rory laughed and said, "Sure, why not?"

* * *

"I didn't realize you guys knew so many people." Rory yelled over the pulsing music. The entire floor was home to the party Matt and Chris were throwing, much like the dorm parties Rory had seen in college.

"I don't think we do!" Chris responded, finishing up his second cup of beer. The two were standing in the hallway between Jess's apartment and Matt's. Chris looked around for a trash can, shrugged, and threw his cup on the floor.

"So who are you planning to kiss at midnight?" Rory asked, looking at the people milling around. She had yet to see Chris with a girl.

"Jess. But I guess I'll have to pick a second." Chris deadpanned before grinning, causing Rory to laugh. "Seriously, though, I'm gonna catch Meredith on the rebound when she realizes that you and Jess are glued together at the mouth."

Rory scanned the crowd and spotted Meredith, who was wearing a skintight black dress. She caught Rory's eye and glared at her for a second.

Rory turned back to Chris and said, "How come it's always girls like that who vie for Jess's attention?"

"Umm, you've seen him, right? I mean, I'm not gay, but…you've seen him , right?"

Rory couldn't help but laugh, and maybe it was because of the very potent drink in her hand.

"What's funny?" Jess asked, sliding up next to Rory with a drink in his hand.

"Chris's man-crush on you."

Jess turned to Chris and said, "Dude, we talked about this."

Chris just shrugged and said, "I am an honest and open person. And I need another drink." He wandered away to find some more alcohol.

"Having fun?" Jess asked, taking a sip from his cup.

Rory leaned against the wall and said, "Between Chris and Meredith I don't know who's bigger competition for your attention."

"Believe me," Jess said, brushing the hair from her face. "There's no contest."

Rory laughed and playfully swatted his hand away. "Nice line, Mariano, but I'm not drunk enough to fall for it."

Jess smiled and tapped his plastic cup against hers. "Well let's work on that."

"I'm glad I came." Rory said, smiling up at him.

Jess smirked and teased, "You might be drunker than you think, Gilmore."

"Rory! Rory!" Val was calling from across the hallway. She was standing with another woman about her height, but much curvier than Val's skinny, almost-boyish frame.

"You're being summoned." Jess nudged her towards the girls. "You don't want Val to get mad at you. She's even scarier whilst drinking."

Rory smiled and walked over to Val and her friend. "Hi, Val!"

"Hi, Rory. This is Gin. Gin, this is Rory."

"Gin?" Rory asked the girl.

Gin pushed her long black hair behind her ear and smirked, "Short for Virginia. Val's name was much more predisposed for a nickname. As always, thank you mom and dad."

"Oh, you guys are sisters?" Rory asked, and received a nod from both of them.

"I'm younger." Gin said, "and very mistreated."

"Oh, boohoo." Val retorted, rolling her eyes. "Your designer clothes and Stanford education would indicate otherwise."

"Ok, don't hate just because you're a vagabond who-."

"We are getting off point!" Val interrupted, nodding to Rory.

Gin giggled and nodded, the fight forgotten. "Indeed we are. Rory, we have a question."

"O….k." Rory drew out the word and took a sip of her drink.

"What's Jess like in bed?" Val demanded.

Rory quickly swallowed the gulp of vodka and cranberry juice and began to cough. "What?"

"We're dying to know!" Gin said. "I mean, boy is FINE, no doubt, and we're positive he's amazing, but Val and I can't decide what kind of lover he is."

"I'm thinking he's super aggressive." Val said. "Like, complete tiger. And if he is, I wish he'd teach Matt a few things." She glared across the hall at Matt, who waved back wildly.

"But he's got that artistic soul." Gin countered. "You can tell he's got a soft side. I think he's got a more gentle touch."

"So we need you to settle this dispute. It's really important, because loser has to take a shot of Everclear." Val said, looking at Rory, who had turned completely red.

"I…we…Jess…I…" Rory sputtered, quickly taking another drink.

"I knew it! Tiger!" Val squealed.

Rory shook her head and Gin squealed. "Ah, I was right! Get ready to take your shot, sissy!"

Rory shook her head again and said, "No. We haven't, we never…"

"WHAT?!" The two sisters screamed in unison, causing several people to look at them.

"But…how?" Gin asked, cocking her head to the side. "You've seen him, right?"

Rory had to laugh at the same words Chris had used earlier.

"Seriously," Val said. "I mean, you guys are all over each other. I saw you making out at his book release, and the chemistry is…word?"

"Explosive!" Gin finished for her sister, and Rory was very aware at how similar this was to talking with Matt and Chris.

"Jess and I…" Rory started, but had no idea how to finish the sentence. "We're…in high school we….but then…ugh!" Rory said, taking another sip of her drink.

"So…never?" Val asked. "Really? Never?"

"Never." Rory confirmed.

"But…I'm sorry, I still don't understand." Gin said. Then she turned to her sister and said, "So do we both take a shot?"

Val shook her head and said, "I think Rory's the loser here, Gin. C'mon, let's get her a shot."

* * *

Rory was laying on her back on Jess's bed, watching the ceiling spin above her. Gin and Val had given her two shots of Everclear. She had felt great immediately after, and even engaged in several games of drunk Twister with Matt and Chris. Now though, she wasn't even sure she could walk under her own power. It was relatively quiet in the room. She could hear the indistinct music and chatter in the distance, but it was all blurring together into a gentle hum.

"Where's Rory?" Jess's voice sounded like it was coming through water.

"I dunno. But it's almost midnight, better find her." Rory couldn't pick out the other voice, and couldn't find her own voice to call out to Jess.

Rory heard the door open, but didn't lift her head.

"Rory? Are you ok?" Jess asked, closing the door and crossing the small room, sitting down next to her.

"I...am drunk." Rory announced seriously, turning her head slightly to see Jess staring at her with a smirk.

"Yeah? How'd that happen?"

"Val and her sister gave me Everclear because we've never had sex." Rory stated.

Jess tilted his head to the side and said, "You had to take shots of Everclear because you've never had sex with Gin and Val?"

"Noooooooooo." Rory drew out the word. "I've never had sex with YOU."

"Oh. Well that makes more sense. No, actually it doesn't. I'm still confused." Jess said with a laugh, leaning back against the headboard of the bed.

"They had a bet…" Rory trailed off, bringing her hand to her head to try and stop the room from spinning.

"Ohhhh." Jess nodded in realization. "That makes more sense. Those two are always betting about something."

"Why aren't we having sex?" Rory demanded, finally turning to look at Jess face-to-face.

"Right now? There's 50 people in my apartment and that door doesn't lock. Plus, sex implies you can move under your own power, and I don't think that's true for you right now."

"That…is probably true." Rory conceded. "But that's NOT what I meant."

"Rory. You are drunk. I don't even think you realize how drunk you are." Jess said with a sigh, running a hand softly over her hair.

"WHY AREN'T YOU HAVING SEX WITH ME?" Rory screamed at Jess, which sent the room spinning again.

"Rory, you need to calm the fuck down." Jess's tone didn't change, but he was now speaking through gritted teeth.

Rory's eyes began to well up with tears and she covered her face with her hands.

"Geez." Jess said, rolling his eyes. "I forgot how much I dislike novice drunks."

Rory finally found the strength to sit up and turned to him with tears running down her face. "So now you don't like me?!" She asked.

"That's not what I meant, and sober Rory will realize that in the morning." Jess said, torn between his impulse to take care of her and his desire to leave her by herself to pass out.

"I don't like me." Rory said, beginning to sob openly.

"Rory…"

"No, it's true. I think about all the stuff I did the last few years. To you. To my mom. And I can't understand how anyone forgave me." Rory's crying was causing her whole body to shake and her words were coming out slowly and with great difficulty.

"Ok, I can't do this." Jess said, standing up. "I can't have this conversation with you, you're too drunk for it to mean anything. I'm going to leave a garbage can by your head, because I guarantee you're going to puke."

"So you're just going to leave me alone? Of course you are. Everyone leaves me alone. I've been alone in hotel rooms for 6 months, Logan used to leave me alone all the time, why shouldn't I be alone here?"

"Rory, just….stop talking, ok?" Jess put a trash can next to the bed. He pulled Rory's shoes off and forced her to lay down. She complied but didn't stop crying. Jess pulled a blanket over her and said, "Just close your eyes. You'll be unconscious before you know it."

Rory didn't look at him and she didn't respond. She curled up into a ball and continued to shake and cry under the blanket.

Jess shook his head and turned off the light.

"Happy New Year, Ror." He said, before closing the door and going back to the party.

* * *

The grumbling, nauseous feeling in Rory's stomach drew her out unconsciousness. There was sunlight streaming through the window and she closed her eyes to block it out. A strong smell filled Rory's nostrils and she felt the grumbling in her stomach turn into a clawing, and she quickly leaned over the side of the bed to vomit into the trashcan, as she had several times during the night.

Rory wiped at her mouth and winced at the awful taste that was residing there. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat up. She immediately felt light-headed. She turned and looked at the other side of the bed, which was still made up. She wondered where Jess had slept.

Rory stood on shaky legs and swayed a little before steadying herself. She couldn't imagine going out into the living room and facing Jess after her drunken breakdown, which she sadly remembered pretty accurately, but she knew she couldn't stay hidden in his bedroom.

Rory slowly made her way into the living room, which was surprisingly less messy than she'd thought it would be. It looked like it usually did, not like there had been a large party the day before.

"Good afternoon." Jess called from the kitchen. Rory realized the smell that was making her nauseous was the smell of pancakes.

"I don't think the smell of food has ever made me this sick before." Rory said meekly, sinking down onto the couch, which was not made up like a bed for the first time since Rory had ever been in the apartment.

"Two shots of Everclear and whatever else you had last night? I'm surprised you woke up before sunset." Jess responded. "Coffee?"

"Yes, please. And if you can inject it intravenously, that'd be great."

Jess chuckled and brought her a full mug. He handed it to her then walked back into the kitchen. When he returned, he was carrying a plate of pancakes. He sat down with the plate in his lap.

"Is it going to make you sick if I eat these? Since you clearly won't be."

Rory shook her head and took a sip of coffee. "No, go ahead."

"So, barring your death by hangover, how about a movie marathon tonight and Love Park tomorrow? It's pretty cool to see when there's snow on the ground. Then I'm going to take you to the top 5 best bookstores in Philly." Jess said as he cut his pancakes and shoved a bite in his mouth.

Rory chuckled uncomfortably and said, "Actually, I'll probably leave tonight, go back to Stars Hollow for a few days before I have to go back to work."

Jess chewed slowly as he took in Rory's words. He put down his knife and fork and placed the plate on the end table.

"What are you doing, Ror?" He asked, looking at her.

"I don't know what you mean." Rory said, looking at her hands instead of at Jess. "I just think I should spend some more time with my mom before I have to get back on the road."

"You said you were going to stay til you had to leave." Jess countered. "This is about last night."

"I just…want to go home." Rory responded weakly.

"Rory, last night was not a big deal. You just drank too much, which was really Val and Gin's fault for thinking you could handle Everclear."

"Yeah, but after the drinking came the talking." Rory said, drawing her knees to her chest.

"You were drunk." Jess repeated. "Let's just forget about it."

Rory shook her head. "I can't. The things I said…I didn't know I was thinking them, but I am."

"Rory, we've talked about this and-."

"And you've forgiven me. I know. But apparently I haven't forgiven myself. I just…Look, I can't explain it. I just feel like I can't be here right now."

"Things were going good." Jess said, running a hand through his hair.

"I know." Rory agreed. "Maybe it was just…too much too soon." At Jess's silence she continued, "I'm not, like, giving up on this or anything. Do you understand? I just…need to go home and think for a while."

Jess at in silence for a moment. Finally, he nodded and stood. "I'm gonna go help the guys clean up in the hall."

"Jess…"

Jess turned around and looked at her and cut her off. "I'm not 'giving up on this' either. But there's nothing else to say right now. You can rest here as long as you need, and I'll take your bags to your car when you're ready to go, ok?"

Rory nodded and Jess walked out of the apartment. Rory leaned back and closed her eyes with a sigh. She knew this was the right thing for her to do right now, but was afraid Jess was taking this much worse than he was playing it off.

"That everything?" Jess asked, placing Rory's laptop bag in the front seat of Rory's car.

Rory nodded. "Yeah, I think so."

"Ok." The two stood looking at each other. "I don't really know how to say goodbye. This is…"

"Weird?" Rory asked and Jess nodded. "I know. I'm sorry."

Jess just shrugged.

Rory said, "I'm going to call you soon. We can just sort of…take it slow."

"Well that should be easy since I don't know when I'll see you again." Jess replied, crossing his arms across his chest uncomfortably.

"The convention is in August." Rory offered with a weak smile.

Jess smiled and shook his head. "Alright, well you'd better go."

Rory nodded. "Ok."

The two hugged awkwardly, but that awkwardness soon melted away as the two gently held each other in the street.

Rory pulled away and said, "Ok…see ya."

Rory got in her car and drove away. As she turned the corner, she looked in the rearview mirror and saw Jess still standing there, watching her car depart.

Rory sighed and reached into the front pocket of her laptop bag for a tissue to dab her eyes. She didn't even know why she was crying, but she knew she hated leaving things the way she did. Rory grabbed a travel pack of tissues and pulled it out, along with an index card.

Rory's eyes widened and she looked for a place to pull over on the street. She parallel parked with more skill than she had ever displayed before so she could read the note Jess had left her.

I FEEL AND THINK MUCH AS YOU DO, CARE ABOUT MANY OF THE THINGS YOU CARE ABOUT, ALTHOUGH MOST PEOPLE DO NOT CARE ABOUT THEM. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Rory smiled as a tear dripped down her chin and splashed onto the card. He hadn't lied. He wasn't going to give up on her, no matter how much she thought she needed to figure out. And he'd used Vonnegut to say it. That told her just as much as the quote itself.

Rory put the card down on the passenger seat and pulled back out into the street. It felt so much better to leave now that she knew for sure he'd welcome her back when she was ready.


	15. FALLING ALL THE WAY IN

**Disclaimer: **None of it mine

**A/N: **Hello, friends! I hope this story still has some readers, as I know I haven't updated in like seven months. If anyone out there is thinking about law school, just don't. It will eat your life. Also, I didn't know what quote I wanted to use until yesterday, when I was reading some fanfic and got re-inspired. Everyone should check out Alice by AineRose and Dear Rory by Andra-ggfan. Both are excellent. I hope you like this chapter, and I hope I can update more frequently! Let me know what you think!

**Chapter 15 – I'M FALLING ALL THE WAY IN**

_1 month later_

Rory was sitting cross-legged on her hotel bed in Boston, typing up a story on her laptop. Her cell phone rang and she looked at the screen before answering.

"Hey mom." She said, balancing the phone between her ear and shoulder.

"Hey firstborn." Lorelai said, sounding chipper.

"You sound happy. Did you sneak a cup of real coffee?" Rory asked.

"No!" Lorelai said, and Rory thought she could actually hear the pout in her voice. "Luke even has the staff at Wesson's denying me, _and_ he keeps buying Taylor out of coffee and then throwing it away! He is merciless!"

"Wow. I'm almost impressed by his quest to make this baby as unlike you as possible."

"I've gotta tell you, I did not know he had this much conviction. I swear this kid is gonna come out wearing flannel and eating granola." Lorelai responded.

"How was the last doctor's visit?"

"Good, good. Bun is a strong, healthy fetus. I'll email you pictures of the ultrasound."

"Can't wait. It'll be nice to look at something not related to Obama for a change. I am officially on political overload."

"You should just quit."

Rory laughed, "And what would I do if I did that?"

"My guess? Shack up with Jess in Philadelphia and not be heard from for three months."

Rory laughed, "Is that really what you think my relationship with Jess is like?"

"Well why don't you tell me what it's like so I'm not left to speculation? You _know_ the way my mind works."

"For starters," Rory started, still typing, "Jess and I have never 'shacked up,' as you so charmingly put it. You know this, because I've told you."

"Will you tell me about the part where you screamed, 'why aren't you having sex with me?' in the middle of a party again?"

"No."

"Aww, come on, it's the best drunk line since Luke's 'fistful of Barbie.'" Lorelai pleaded.

"Eww. Moving on." Rory said, shaking her head.

"Fine, you're no fun. Have you talked to Balboa lately?"

"First of all, I really do not appreciate the constant Sylvester Stallone references." Rory said, "He doesn't even look like him!"

"You need to watch Rocky III and try to say that with a straight face."

"You need to explain to me why the Hell you were watching Rocky III. But yes, I've talked to Jess recently. We email pretty regularly, and there've been a couple phone calls." Rory responded.

Lorelai replied, "And how are things going?"

"I dunno. Fine, I guess."

"That did not sound very enthusiastic." Lorelai said.

"Well, it's hard. We have these great conversations and he makes me laugh so hard and…I want to be with him. But what am I supposed to about it? That's the part that no one ever seems to have any advice about." Rory angrily deleted a sentence as she spoke.

"Well, hon, all I can say is this job isn't going to be your life forever. If it's right, it'll still be there when you're both in the same place at the same time."

"That was surprisingly insightful." Rory said.

"Hey! I resent that!"

"Sorry, your advice when it comes to Jess has been historically skewed."

"Touche."

Rory's phone beeped and she pulled it away from her ear to look at the screen. She smiled as she put her phone back to her ear and said, "Mom, Jess is calling, I've gotta go."

"Of course." Lorelai said, sarcastically. "I see how it goes. Call me later!"

"I will. Love you!"

Before she heard Lorelai's response, Rory clicked over to the other line. She tried not to sound excited as she said, "Hello?"

"Hey." Jess's voice responded, and Rory could instantly feel her smile widening. She had told her mom there had been phone calls, but hadn't mentioned that Jess had not initiated any of them. He responded to her emails and talked to her when she called, but this was the first time he'd reached out to her since she left him standing on the street in Philadelphia.

"Hi." Rory responded, saving her word document and looking away from her computer for the first time. "How are you?"

"Still breathing." Jess responded. "You?"

"Also breathing."

"Glad to hear it. Where are you?"

"Boston. Well, Cambridge actually. I can see part of Harvard from my hotel. It's kinda weird." Rory responded, lying back on her hotel bed.

"Yeah?" Jess asked. "Thinking about the life that never was?"

"No, not really. But I'd sort of forgotten how beautiful the campus is. It's just…weird." Rory responded, enjoying the sound of Jess's voice.

Jess chuckled and said, "I caught the end of the speech Obama gave at Harvard Law on the radio. The man can speak, I'll give him that."

"Yeah, I just finished my piece on it."

"Was that Paris grilling him on his lack of experience during the Q & A session?" Jess asked.

Rory laughed. "Of course. She left a lecture five minutes early to get to the law school from the medical school on time."

"Five whole minutes? I'm surprised her head didn't explode." Jess quipped.

Rory laughed. "Hey, her questions made a great angle for my story. We had lunch afterwards. I think that medical school has actually calmed her down a little, believe it or not."

"You would know better than me." Jess responded. "How much longer are you there?"

"Umm, we leave tomorrow for Syracuse. We're only there for half a day and then New York City for 5 days."

"New York, huh? Try not to look too much like a tourist."

"Hey!" Rory protested, "I have perfected my withering stare, thank you very much."

"I will believe that when I see it." Jess retorted.

"So how are things at Truncheon?" Rory asked after a brief pause. "Matt said you've been doing a lot of lunch meetings lately. Big author?"

"We publish 4 books a year. Do you really think we get a lot of big talent?" Jess asked.

"Well you're pretty talented." Rory responded teasingly.

"Three books a year after the one we publish by me," was Jess's sarcastic answer.

"Fine, fine. You're a small publishing house. Consider the point conceded. Are you going to tell me what the meetings are about?"

Jess was silent for a long moment before he responded, "Maybe."

"You are a master of intrigue, Jess Mariano."

"Make sure that goes on my tombstone, will you?"

"Absolutely." Rory responded seriously. She sighed as she looked at her watch. "My deadline is an hour and I want to do another pass on this piece. I'll call you soon?"

"Sure." Jess agreed. "Good talking to you."

"Yeah, you too."

"Hey Rory? Imissyou." Jess said it really fast, so it sounded like one word.

Rory's smile hurt her cheeks as she responded, "Yeah, I miss you too. Bye, Jess."

"Bye."

* * *

Rory inserted the keycard into the lock and opened her hotel room door. She dropped her shopping bags next to the door and walked over to the bed, collapsing on it sleepily. She had spent the whole day shopping in New York with some of the other reporters and it had completely drained her.

Rory's cell phone started buzzing on the end table, and Rory grabbed at it without looking, missing completely. She sighed and lifted her head, reaching for the phone again. She looked at the name and smiled, but was too tired to get overly excited. She opened the phone and said, "Hey, you."

"Hey." Jess said, and Rory could hear the traffic behind him, indicating he was outside.

"How are you?" Rory asked sleepily.

"Me? I'm good. How are _you_?" Jess demanded pointedly.

"Fine." Rory said, confused. "Why did you say it like that? How should I be?"

"Nothing exciting you want to tell me?" Jess asked, not responding to her question.

"Umm, I got a pair of suede boots for 50% off at Saks?" Rory asked, sitting up and switching the phone to her other ear. "But I have a feeling you weren't referring to my shopping savvy."

"I was just wondering how an article gets picked up by the Associated Press." Jess said, his tone turning amused.

"It all goes through the editor," Rory said, yawning.

"Oh?" Jess asked, "Why is that?"

"Because once you submit the piece, it technically belongs to the paper. Why all the questions about the AP?" Rory demanded, thinking maybe Jess was submitting an opinion piece or something.

"Because I'm reading The New York Times, and there's this really great piece called "Harvard Student Questions Obama's Credentials.""

"Really? That's funny, that's what I called the piece I wrote yesterday…wait." Rory's eyes snapped open and she shot up off her bed with a burst of energy. "My piece is in the New York Times? My piece is in the New York Times! I can't believe Hugo didn't call me! Oh my God, what does it look like? What page is it on? Does it suck? Oh God, it sucks doesn't it?"

"Rory, calm down." Jess said with a laugh. "Your piece is great. Your quotes are great, it's interesting, it's not biased. And it's on page 12."

"Twelve." Rory repeated reverently. "Am I breathing? I don't think I'm breathing."

"Talking indicates breathing. Congratulations. This is huge." Jess said sincerely.

"Thanks." Rory said, feeling overly warm. She was floored. Her article was in the New York Times. It was something she'd always dreamed about, what she always wanted. And it was hers, so much sooner than she'd ever imagined. And Jess was the one giving her the news. Jess was the one telling her she was published in The New York Times. After a long moment, her senses returned. "Wait, why are you reading The New York Times? What's wrong with The Inquirer?"

"Really? That's what you're thinking about right now?" Jess asked.

"Jess, don't mess with the New York Times published journalist." Rory responded cheerfully.

"I'm reading the Times because I'm in Manhattan." Jess responded coolly.

"What? You're here? What are you doing here?" Rory felt herself turning red with excitement for a different reason. "Are you here to see me?"

"Sure, let's go with that." Jess responded. "Where's your hotel?"

Rory gave him the address and he said, "You're right by Washington Square Park. Do you want to get a drink?"

All the exhaustion had left Rory's body and a nap was the last thing on her mind. Instead she was wondering if Jess would think she looked sexy in her new boots. 'I do." She responded, trying to stay cool. "I saw an Irish pub down the block."

"Brannigan's? I know it. I can meet you there in a half hour?"

"OK, I'll see you soon."

"Can't wait." Jess responded before clicking off the phone.

Rory looked around her room, almost panicked. A half hour? How was she supposed to get ready by then? She smiled, an article in The New York Times. She couldn't wait to buy 50 copies of The New York Times. As Rory slid out of her jeans and searched desperately for a pretty skirt, all she could think was that, besides her mom, there was no one she'd rather share this moment with than Jess.

* * *

"This is much better than some stupid bar." Rory said, her mouth full of pizza. The two had met in front of Brannigan's, but decided it would be more fun to buy a six pack of beer and pizza and eat it in her hotel room. They were sitting Indian-style on Rory's bed. On the floor next to them was a stack of 20 copies of The New York Times.

"Cheaper, anyway." Jess agreed, taking a sip from his bottle. He still had a copy of the paper in front of him, and was reading it again. "'Obama answered the scathing questions with the poise and polish of a politician twice his age, indicating that he isn't as inexperienced as his critics would have us believe.'" He looked up with a smile. "Chris was right. You could transition to novels really easily."

Rory blushed. "I'll keep that in mind when I sit down to write my memoirs."

"Are you going to change my name ? I'd like something manly. Like Trogdor the Burninator."

Rory laughed and took a sip of beer. "What makes you think I'll mention you?"

"Because I'm the only good love story you've got." Jess retorted.

There was silence as Rory chewed on her pizza and mulled over Jess's words.

Jess sighed, "I just meant-. I don't know what I meant."

"It's OK." Rory said, eyes on the half-eaten slice of pepperoni pizza in her hand. "Our story has definitely been the most interesting. Besides," She smiled as she thought about the growing collection of index cards in her suitcase, "some of it might make a pretty good love story."

"Yeah?" Jess asked, with a smirk. He put his beer bottle on the bedside table and picked up the pizza box that sat between them. He closed it and dropped it on the floor. Rory looked at Jess and bit her lip. She put her pizza on the table next to Jess's beer. She sat up on her knees and crawled across the short distance to where Jess sat. He was smirking at her, waiting unblinkingly for her to completely close the gap.

Rory braced herself by placing one hand on each side of Jess's frame, staring intently into his hazel eyes. She let a slow smile spread across her face that she hoped accurately portrayed her intentions. Jess raised an eyebrow, the smirk still affixed to his face. He stayed perfectly still, not allowing himself to respond to her advance in any way.

After a long moment, Rory exhaled and fell back on her butt. "I am not built for seduction."

Jess laughed and finally moved from his position. He crawled over to Rory until his mouth was right against her ear and said, "I think you are."

"Oh?" Rory said, shivering as his warm breath stirred a pool of heat that started in her chest and went all the way down to her toes. Jess nipped at her earlobe, eliciting a small whimper. He dipped his tongue in the hollow of her collarbone, and at the same time his hand was creeping under her skirt, which she was almost painfully happy she had decided to wear.

"Jess." Rory whispered hoarsely.

"Yeah?" He asked, blowing gently on her neck.

"Are you going to kiss me?" She almost begged.

Jess shifted his position so that his mouth was directly above hers. He opened his mouth to speak, but lost himself in her blue eyes and forgot whatever teasing comment he was going to say. "Fuck the banter." He growled, fiercely lowering his mouth to hers. Rory responded immediately, lifting her head and parting her lips immediately. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him as close as she could.

Jess pulled away, but only by about half an inch, just enough to whisper, "I…" He trailed off, and Rory just smiled and put her hand on his cheek and pulled his mouth back down to hers.

* * *

Rory woke up to the feeling of Jess's lips planting kisses on her bare stomach. She smiled sleepily, and made a mental note to e-mail Val and Gin: tiger the first time, gentle the second. He kissed her inner thigh and Rory shuddered. She felt the heat stirring in her again, but knew her body couldn't handle Round 3 without being in actual physical pain.

"You're…amazing." Rory said, breathless at the thought of what she'd just experienced.

Jess smirked and brought his face to hers. "You hold your own pretty well."

"That felt…"

"Awesome? Spectacular? Mind-blowing." Jess teased between kisses.

"Right." Rory finished. "It felt…right."

Jess looked her thoughtfully, then rolled off her with a sigh, staring at the ceiling.

"What did I say?" Rory asked, turning on her side so she was looking at the wall instead of him. "Am I wrong?" Rory's eyes filled with tears. "Was this just sex for you?"

Jess let out a short laugh and turned to face Rory. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered, "No."

Rory sniffled, but the tears didn't come. She fell asleep while Jess kissed her bare shoulder.

The next time Rory opened her eyes, it was at 7 A.M. when her alarm went off. Rory whimpered and reached over to press the button. She looked over, but Jess was not next to her. Rory frowned and her heart sank. Had he left? Maybe this had all been a huge mistake.

Dejected, Rory swung her legs over the size of the bed. She put her head in her hands and sighed.

"You OK?" Jess asked, emerging from the bedroom fully dressed.

Rory's head shot up and she smiled widely. "I thought you left."

"Nope." Jess responded. "I do have to go, but I wasn't going to leave without…you know."

Rory smiled and reached for his hand, "Yeah. Are you going back to Philadelphia?"

"This afternoon. I've got some stuff to do first. Where are you going from here?"

"Well we're here til Friday night. Then we're down to D.C., Maryland, down the seaboard to Florida."

Jess smiled wanly and brushed her hair behind her ear. "You're getting to be quite the little traveler."

Rory pouted, "Little."

Jess smirked and looked at the clock. "I've gotta go."

Rory stood and Jess's eyes widened at the site of her standing naked in front of him. He pulled her to him and kissed her passionately. Rory pulled away, her eyes bleary with sleep and passion.

"We'll talk soon?" Rory asked, hating how pathetic it sounded. There were still so many questions to answer, so many things to talk about that mind-blowing sex just couldn't answer.

Jess nodded and kissed her again. He finally pulled away and said, "Bye, Rory."

Rory stood there dumbly as she watched him leave. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. He'd said it wasn't just sex, but what was it? What had they done? Was it stupid? It had been amazing, so why did she feel like she'd scared Jess away?

Rory made her way to bathroom to take a shower. Though she was hesitant to erase Jess's scent from her hair and skin, showing up to the press conference with sex hair probably wouldn't go over very well. She grabbed her toothbrush and turned on the water. She looked up and her eyes widened when she saw an index card jammed into the corner of the mirror. She stared at it for a long time, letting the words flow through her veins and lift the heavy weight off her shoulders.

I'M FALLING ALL THE WAY IN

She was taken back to The Distillers concert when they were kids, the way he placed his hands on her hips as they stood there, listening to music. Later on, the memory was sullied by the realization that he was just trying to avoid their problems, but in that moment, she had loved him a little.

He was still so nonchalant about emotions, so unsure how to express them. But he tried now. He wanted to make sure she understood that just because he couldn't say things didn't mean he didn't feel them.

More importantly, he was in this with her. It wasn't just sex. He was falling, just like she was. He wasn't going to give up on this just because it was confusing or complicated. Completely rejuvenated, Rory reached for the toothpaste and got ready to start her day.


	16. MAYBE NOT TODAY, MAYBE NOT TOMORROW

**Disclaimer: **None of it mine

**A/N: **Thanks for the response, all! I'm so glad to know that people are still reading, it means so much to me. I hope you like this chapter. I hope to finish this story within the month. Review and let me know what you think!

**Chapter 16 –Maybe Not Today, Maybe Not Tomorrow**

Rory walked into Truncheon a few days later, her laptop and suitcase in tow. The bell jangled over her head, but no one acknowledged it. Matt, Val, and Chris were all facing the far wall.

"It should go next to Metro's review of The Subsect." Matt insisted.

"But it fits perfectly here." Chris countered.

"I'm with Matt," Val said, putting her hands on her hips thoughtfully. "It clearly needs to go next to something Jess-related."

"Why? So it's like their accolades are holding hands?" Chris scoffed. "That's silly. And you're the only ones who would notice."

"It's cute." Val insisted. "And it fits there too. Just put it where I tell you."

"Fine." Chris said, rolling his eyes.

"Ahem." Rory cleared her throat. The three turned around with wide eyes, as if they were children who'd been caught doing something naughty.

"Rory!" Val exclaimed brightly. She crossed the space and gave Rory a big hug. "What are you doing here? Are you moving in?" She nodded at Rory's bags.

Rory laughed and shook her head. "What are you guys doing?"

"We're hanging your article on the Wall of Fame!" Matthew exclaimed brightly, handing Chris a hammer and a nail.

"What?" Rory asked, approaching the wall to see what they were talking about. She'd never really looked at this wall before, but it was full of framed clippings and other various things. Truncheon's business license, Chris's Masters in Literature from Temple, some of his published poetry, a few reviews of The Subsect, some of Matt's paintings, the inaugural copy of the zine, and what appeared to be a musical score titled "Suffocate Slowly" that had Val's name on the bottom. Rory was intimidated by all the artistic achievement hanging on the wall.

"Your article is going right here." Chris said, and then he tapped the nail gently into the wall.

"You really don't need to put it up." Rory said, blushing. "It's nothing like what you guys do."

"Doesn't mean it's not art." Chris said with a shrug, hanging the frame on the nail and taking a step back. "Perfect!"

"Congratulations, Rory!" Matt exclaimed, slinging an arm over her shoulders. "This is a huge accomplishment, and a great article."

"Thank you." She couldn't get over how they treated her, how she was already family even though she'd spent so little time with them.

"And I think I should be congratulating you for another reason." Val teased, nudging Rory in the ribs. "Got your e-mail. Gin sends her shrieks of happiness as well."

Rory felt her blush deepen. Matt and Chris were sharing knowing looks as well. Rory groaned, "You all know, don't you?"

Matt and Chris nodded in unison. Rory looked down at her feet. Matt squeezed her shoulder and said, "It's a natural and beautiful part of life, Rory. Nothing to be ashamed of."

"Besides," Chris added, "You must be pretty good at it. Jess almost smiled twice yesterday!"

They all laughed at that, and Rory looked proudly at her article hanging on their wall. "Thanks, guys. It means a lot."

"Just don't break Jess's heart or I'll have to break it over your head." Val said, not losing her charming smile. Rory just smiled and said, "I'm not planning on it."

"We know." Val responded.

"Where is Jess?" Rory asked.

"Upstairs on the phone." Matt said excitedly. "It's _the_ call."

Rory tilted her head to the side, "What do you mean?"

Matt opened his mouth to respond but Valerie clamped a hand over his mouth. "No." She chided. "Jess will tell her."

"Tell me what?" Rory asked, eyebrows raised.

No none had a chance to answer because Jess walked down the steps at that moment, his trademark smirk playing on his face.

"Well?" Matt asked, not able to keep the excitement out of his voice.

Jess looked over at him, but his eyes locked on Rory instead. The smirk stayed on his face but his eyes brightened. He briskly walked the rest of the way down the stairs and over to Rory. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her deeply without saying a word. Rory responded instantly, bringing her hands up to his hair.

Jess pulled away breathlessly. He was smiling, a true Jess smile, as he gently touched her cheek and pressed his forehead to hers. He pulled away to look at his friends, who were all staring at him intently.

"They said yes."

Jess's friends exploded into cheers. Rory was smiling, both from the mind-blowing kiss and the contagious excitement of Jess's friends. Everyone was hugging and patting Jess on the back.

"This is amazing!" Chris said. "You're mentioning Truncheon in the dedication.'

"Dedication?" Rory asked, swinging her head around to Jess. "As in, 'book dedication'?"

Jess smiled his second smile of the day at her and nodded slightly. "Anchor Books is going to republish The Subsect, and they're giving me an advance for another book."

"Jess!" Rory exclaimed, throwing her arms around him. "That's amazing! You're amazing!"

"I think you said the same thing a few nights ago." Jess growled in her ear, causing Rory to shudder and turn red again.

"We need to celebrate!" Matt said. "Let's go down the street and get some drinks!"

"You guys go ahead." Jess said, still looking intently at Rory. "We'll be right behind you."

"Celebration sex." Val said in singsong voice, linking her arm with Matthew's. She winked at Rory and said, "See you guys in an hour."

The three left and Jess swung the sign to 'Closed' and locked the door. He turned around and asked, "What are you doing here? With all your stuff?"

"We finished up early today. Most of the reporters took the ACES train to Atlantic City, but I checked out of the hotel early, figured I'd meet up with the bus tomorrow. I just wanted to…see you again."

"I'm not complaining." Jess grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him. "Spontaneity looks very good on you."

"Actually, I think that's about two hours of train grime." Rory said, running a hand through her hair with a smile.

"Oh?" Jess pulled her closer so they were pressed together. "Maybe we should take a shower."

"I think that is an excellent idea." Rory whispered, swallowing hard.

Jess smirked and grabbed Rory's things. He turned back to look at her just as he reached the stairs. He cleared his throat and said, "I'll text Val and let her know it'll be more like 2 hours."

* * *

Two hours and sixteen minutes later, Jess and Rory walked into a bar called, much to Rory's amused surprise, The Artful Dodger.

Jess looked over at her amused smile and, as if reading her thoughts, said, "This has been Chris's favorite bar since college. I had to laugh the first time he brought me here."

"And how appropriate to celebrate your big break here." Rory said with a smile, touching Jess's arm. "I can't believe what a great week this has been for both of us."

Jess shrugged, but Rory could read the excitement on his face. Jess looked over at Chris, Matt, Val, and Gin, who had joined them and said, "Looks like they've done enough celebrating for everyone already."

Rory looked over and laughed. Their table was covered with empty glasses and bottles. Val and Matt looked to be playing hangman and Gin and Chris were being obviously and overly flirtatious with each other.

Jess groaned as he watched Gin touch Chris's chest. "If they have sex again and Chris doesn't call her, Val's gonna kill him."

"Really? When did that happen?"

"New Years." Jess said with a sigh. "He didn't think she remembered, so he tried to pretend it didn't happen. She remembered. So did Val."

Rory winced. "Between Val's wrath and Gin's, I can't believe he's still alive."

Jess shook his head. "Gin's not as tough as she pretends to be. Matt said she cried for like two days over it."

"Aww." Rory frowned. "I've been there. It never gets easier when the guy you like doesn't call."

Jess didn't respond verbally. He just took Rory's hand and led her over to the table.

"The man of the hour!" Matt exclaimed, hopping up.

"Actually the man of 2 hours and..." Val looked at her watch, "eighteen minutes. Nicely done, Rory."

Rory blushed and slid into the booth next to Val.

"Rory!" Gin exclaimed, looking up at the first time. "Congratulations on your, ahem, huge accomplishment."

Rory laughed, "You read the article too?"

Gin laughed as she said, "Oh, that's not the huge accomplishment I was referring to." She waggled her eyebrows and looked meaningfully over at Jess. "But congrats on the article too."

"Jeez." Jess rolled his eyes and slid into the booth next to Rory.

"I'm buying you the first beer, man." Matt said, then he headed to the bar to do just that.

Rory looked over at the game of hangman Val and Matt were playing on a napkin, and was amused to see they were apparently playing a pornographic version. "Who's winning?"

"Matt, technically." Val rolled her eyes. "But only because his spelling is atrocious. You don't even want to know how he thought clitoris was spelled."

Rory laughed, then smiled as Jess slung an arm casually around her shoulders. Val noticed the motion and said,, "How long you staying this time, Rory dear?"

"Just til tomorrow morning." Rory responded with a small frown.

"Too bad." Gin said. "It'd be great if you could be around more."

"Not everyone can just take a semester off from college and bum around Philly like you, Gin." Chris teased, putting his hand on her knee and causing her to sputter and blush.

"Says the guy who spent a year backpacking through Europe when he supposed to be getting his Masters." Matt retorted, handing Jess and Rory each a pint of beer. Gin smiled victoriously and stuck her tongue out at Chris.

"How much longer are you on the road, Rory?" Val asked, managing to roll her eyes at her sister and glare at Chris at the same time.

"The convention is in June, so...a little more than four months." Rory didn't mention that it felt like it was an eternity away.

"Do we all have drinks?" Matt asked brightly, looking around. He nodded to himself and said, "Toast time!"

"Jeez." Jess mumbled, clearly annoyed and probably embarrassed.

"You want to do the honors, Rory?" Matt looked at her expectantly.

"Me?" Rory asked meekly. "Are you sure?"

Everyone nodded their agreement, and Jess looked at her curiously.

Rory smiled nervously and raised her pint glass in Jess's direction. "To Jess, who is one of the best writers I've ever had the pleasure of reading." She hesitated, then continued, "And one of the best people I've had the pleasure of knowing." She looked directly at Jess as she continued, and it was clear everyone else had faded away from her view. "You saved me from myself when no one else could, and I am so honored that you've let me into this amazing life you've built."

There was silence at the table as everyone absorbed Rory's words. Val was smiling widely and Gin had tears in her eyes. Rory cleared her throat and finished, "Congratulations, Jess, on what I know is only the first of many successes. Cheers."

"Cheers." Everyone repeated, clinking their glasses together happily.

Jess took a sip of his beer and put the glass on the table. He took both of Rory's hands and gently kissed her. Rory smiled sheepishly but returned the kiss. She liked that he kissed her and was so intimate with her in front of his friends. It made her feel like she was his, even though they hadn't discussed what their relationship meant. It felt like they'd travelled a million miles since they'd stood in the snow in Stars Hollow, and he'd been so scared of their complicated relationship. Rory couldn't even fathom that she had to leave tomorrow, and leave these moments behind for at least a month.

Rory looked around the group of friends sitting around the table. Everyone was laughing and talking. She had never felt this much at home outside of Stars Hollow. She'd never felt such an affinity to Logan's friends, though she'd gotten along fine with Colin and Finn. She liked Jess's friends; she considered them her friends as well. It was almost scary how easily she could picture building a life here.

Rory looked up and realized Val was speaking to her. Rory laughed as she realized Val had slid the pornographic version of hangman to her. Jess chuckled as he looked at the page and said, "Matt, whatever you think that says, I guarantee you spelled it wrong."

Gin peeked over at the word and grimaced. "My condolences, sis, if that's any indication of how well he executes that maneuver."

Everyone laughed, and Rory happily took another sip of beer.

* * *

"I love it here." Rory said, collapsing into Jess's bed and looking up at the ceiling.

"It's pretty much a hole in the wall." Jess responded, amused. The bed groaned as he sat down on it and removed his shoes. He fell back and turned on his side so he was facing Rory.

"I want to stay." Rory said suddenly, before Jess had an opportunity to kiss her.

Jess nodded. "Of course. I'll take you to the station in the morning."

"No." Rory said with a laugh as she touched Jess's cheek. "I…I don't want to go back on the road. I want to stay here, with you."

"Rory…" Jess started, sitting up. "No, actually I don't know how to finish that sentence. What do you mean you want to stay here?"

"I don't want to follow Obama anymore. I'm tired and all my clothes are all wrinkled and I just want to be with you. Not once every four months. All the time."

"Rory…" Jess started again, tugging on Rory's hand until she sat up. "You love what you're doing. Why would you give that up? Especially to stay in a one-bedroom hole with me and Chris? And Matt when he and Val are fighting?"

Rory sighed. "It's hard, Jess. I never realized how hard it would be."

"Of course it's hard!" Jess exclaimed, getting off the bed. "And you're still getting used to it. But look at what you're doing. You got an article published in The New York fucking Times! You're writing for an online magazine with hundreds of thousands of readers. I am so proud of everything you do. You can't give that up."

"Why not? It's my life! If I want to quit this job, why shouldn't I?" Rory exclaimed, getting angry that Jess was so obviously denying her.

"Because you're exactly where you need to be!" Jess exclaimed. He dropped to his knees and took Rory's hands. "Rory, what you said at the bar tonight? About me saving you? You have no idea how much that meant to me. And now you throw this at me? No. You will not drift, I will not let you." Despite the seriousness of the conversation, Jess actually smiled.

"What?" Rory asked, exasperated. "Why are you smiling?"

Jess shook his head. "Just…never thought I'd be saying those words to someone else. Rory, you need to stick with this til the end. You know that. Tell me you know that."

Rory deflated entirely and she whispered, "I know that."

Jess nodded. "OK, good."

"But I want to be with you so much, Jess." Rory said weakly.

Jess sighed. "Rory, I know how hard it is for you to deal when things get hard. I'm not judging you for it." He finished quickly, since he could see Rory was about to get defensive. "It's part of who you are, and it is what it is. But you can't stay here just because it's comfortable."

"Is that the only reason you think I want to stay?" Rory asked.

"No, of course not. But…I think you're going to be tempted to run here every time things get tough, and you just can't."

Rory stood up and said, "I should go. It's early enough, I can still catch a train back to New York tonight, stay with one of the other reporters until the bus leaves tomorrow."

"Rory." Jess said, wiping a hand across his face. "I wasn't trying to say…"

"I'd prefer it if Val took me to the station." Rory cut him off.

Jess didn't get angry, like Rory thought he would. He just nodded.

"And maybe you shouldn't call me for a while."

"Rory-." Jess started again, "Please don't be like this."

"I'm gonna go get my stuff." Rory said. She'd completely shut down, because it was the only way to avoid admitting that Jess was right.

"You need to do this, Rory." Jess said, insistently. Rory didn't respond. She just walked away.

* * *

Rory felt utterly defeated as she stood on the escalator, waiting to reach the bottom. She hated Jess in that moment, for denying her the easy way out. He was right. That was slowly becoming clear to her, had been ever since she'd gotten in Val's car. She couldn't hide with Jess just because it was comfortable, just because it made her happy, just because she was falling in love with him. She loved her job too, and she hated that he knew that as well. She loved being on the road, writing these articles. She loved that she was a New York Times- published journalist. Why had she even thought about giving that up?

Because she shut down when things got hard. Jess was right about that too. He'd saved her from it once, and it was wrong to ask him to let her slip back into that place. He had been right about everything. Yet still, she hated him for so nonchalantly dismissing her.

"Got everything?" Val asked as they approached the train platform.

Rory nodded. "Yeah."

"You'll get through this, you and Jess." Val insisted. "I don't know what happened, but…"

"Right now, I just need to get on this train, Val. Thanks for bringing me, and thanks for being my friend. I just…need to go."

Val sighed. She pulled something out of her pocket and said, "Jess said to give this to you."

Rory's eyes widened as Val passed her an index card. "He asked you to give this to me? To tell me it was from him?"

Val shrugged, "He just said, 'Give this to Rory.'"

Rory looked at the card reverently, amazed that Jess was finally claiming ownership of the cards. What did it mean?

Rory read the card and smiled just a little as tears started to spill.

YOU'LL REGRET IT. MAYBE NOT TODAY, MAYBE NOT TOMORROW, BUT SOON AND FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Rory shook her head and whispered, "But what about us?"

It was as if he'd known she was going to recite that line out loud, because at the very bottom of the card in tiny print, he'd written: "We'll always have Paris."

The tears were spilling freely as the dam she'd built up burst. She'd been telling herself that he had sent her away because he didn't care, because he didn't want her with him. But he did care. It had hurt him to send her away.

Rory looked up at Val, who immediately took the taller girl in her arms. Rory cried on Val's shoulder until the train arrived.

* * *

**A/N the second: **The Artful Dodger is a real bar in Philly. I wish my imagination was that good.


End file.
